I'm using an alternative username for this as I don't want it to affect what people think of my normal username.
My husband and i have three kids and we both work. When I had our first child we agreed that after mat leave I would return to work and he would move to part-time. I have a better paying job while he has never really prioritised career progression.
Not having two full-time salaries has been difficult at times but i understand the role he plays in dropping off the kids and picking them up, etc. (all at school)
Over the last year or so he's shown less interest in working. He suffers from stress and anxiety issues and those have contributed to him losing his job.
He now wants to cut back the hours he works in his next job so that he can better cope. We will be able to reduce child care costs this year and with my salary he believes we can get by with him working less.
My problem is i don't want to just scrape by. Yes I want him to be able to cope with his stress better but i feel his arguments as to why he wants to reduce his hours apply equally to me but I can't dream of cutting my hours as I'm the breadwinner.
Working less hours will make him less stressed. me too.
he would like to spend more time with the kids. me too.
i think if he goes down to working two or three half days a week he'll never go back up. Plus, he is saying he's so stressed it might be a month before he can start looking for work.
We've got a close friend's wedding next month and I am stressing about finding the money for accomodation, gift, etc. We've also got a holiday planned (not booked) for next year that is based on two salaries.
Part of me just wants him to feel better but part of me wants to give him a shake and say that we both need to bring money in and two or three half days of a low-paying job isn't really going to cut it.
AIBU? what should I say to him?