DP constantly eating - finding it a turn off

[killerinme]

I met my DP 3 years ago and we have been together for around 2 of those. He has always been a massive eater, the very first time we went to McDonalds together he bought 2 cheeseburgers and put them together as one sandwich and he also bought a king size big mac meal to go with it.

Anyway he moved in with us a few months ago and his eating is doing my head in, he eats constantly, if we buy biscuits he will eat them all before anyone has had a chance to try one, if we buy multipack crisps he will eat all his favourite flavours straight away incase anyone else eats them.

What really annoys me though is that he eats so much during the day that come tea time he's not hungry so the rest of us have to wait until he's hungry.

This weekend for instance, on saturday we went to a show at the local park and went to Morrisons to get some dinner on the way to taking the kids to their dads house. DP bought himself 10 chicken nuggets, a chicken kebab on a stick and a cheese french loaf, he ate them all in the car before we left the car park. I had bought two big bags of chocolates for us both to enjoy on the night time whilst the kids were away (big bags of maltesers and minstrels) and he opened his in the car and ate the majority of them there and then.

So we took the kids to their dads, later did some shopping and went past McDonalds, it was getting on for tea time at this point but we stopped off at McDonalds for a drink, I went into the toilets and he bought himself a bacon cheese burger. This was at 4:30 so I knew he's not want any tea. When we got home I told him I didn't want to eat tea really late and I would be putting it on soon whether he was hungry or not, he said he would be ok to eat after an hour or so...half an hour later he sat and ate the rest of his minstels.

I know it sounds petty but it drives me nuts. Am I being a nag?

Two parts to this I feel

Firstly about him eating all the time- it was there when you met so tbh I think you have to accept it but -a nd this is a BIG but- using it as a way of controlling the rest f you (eg dictating mealtimes) is ridiculous.

Cook at sensible times. If he cant control his snacking then he doesnt get to eat with you and can warm his up later.

but dont let him control what you are ding, its a longshor here but it may just be that he is making up for his personal lack of cntrol of eating by controlling yours as a family- not healthy imo

is he very overweight? this sounds really unhealthy.

He sounds like a candidate for that Gillian McKeith programme. Perhaps you could nominate him?

Good Lord!!!!

I'm shocked at the crap he's eating,is he huge?

It sounds like he has no self-control around food. Who does the shopping - is it you? If so could you just not buy snacks and crisps? If the snacks are things that he doesn't like (eg carrots) the problem may disappear. OTOH you might find him padding off to the corner shop in the middle of the night!

He's mot actually that big, he's a few stone overweight but he's tall so can "carry it" so to speak...he is very unhealthy though, constantly burping and farting which is another issue and he's constantly tired and spends ages on the toilet, seems to get the runs quite a bit too.

He's not happy about it, he always calls himself a "fat bastard" and he's very self concious, if ever I mention what he eats he gets very defensive so he knows its a problem. Also he wants to join the police but he knows he wouldn't pass the medical yet he does nothing about it, he annoys me tbh.

hi, I can really relate to your concerns about your hisbands health and the disruption his childish eating habits are causing for you and your DCs!

My soon-2b-X H has many abusive and vile habits. Amongst them is chronic over-eating.

Its made his body swell into a horrendous huge blobby shape covered in an awful mat of dark brown long hairs (and since hes given up on wearing clothes (other than too-small- pants) around the house I have to see this monstrosity every day). Its absolutely vile.

Made worse by the fact that (like the situation u describe) my H will eat all the biscuits and crisps, of paticular annoyance to me is the fact that he eats the stuff iv bought in for the DCs school lunch boxes (he does this regularly). So i cant put their lunches together and they have to have tiny lunches at school. (e.g. 12 pack of cheese strings, would last for 6 lunches for my 2 kids, but parasite H eats all 12 straight away, and then leaves the cheesy wrappers all over the floor....unforgivable!).

My H puts on about 2 stone a year on average, and he now weighs about 30 stone (that he will admit to)so its probably much more. The bad eating makes him break smelly wind all the time [yuck, makes me feel sick]

Your concerns are definately NOT petty. You wouldnt want your DH to turn into something like the monstrosity im stuck with?????

Chronic over eating has been called 'SLOW SUICIDE' by the medical establishment. IF you want him to eat healthier then you are going to have to put your foot down and tell him it disgusts you and you fear for his health. Plus hes eating like a spoilt child, eating snacks whenever he wants without care for the rest of the families eating patterns.

You could do what i do and just refuse to cook for him, if he chooses to eat like Dudley Durdsley then he can buy his own snacks. You can make nice meals for yourself and the kids (cos DCs are far more important than him). He may see what you are doing for yourself and kids and decide its time grow up and take part in family meal times.

Good luck

Personally, I think that level of over-eating is disgusting. Seeing some massively overweight person sweating and waddling down the street whilst cramming a Mars Bar down their gaping maw makes me want to scream "Stop it, for the love of God, stop it, can't you see what you're doing to yourself! Aaaarrgggghhh...!"

I am aware, however, that this makes me a bad and intolerant person who does not appreciate the difficulties this other person may have. Once I have been for my social therapy sessions I will understand better how bad and intolerant I am, become calm and accepting of others and realise what appears to me to be an infantile inability to keep food out of your gob for longer than 17 seconds is actually a manifestation of a deeper psycho-social ill.

In the meantime though you have my sympathy and no (speaking from a bloke's perspective), you are right to nag him.

Or maybe you'll just realise that manifestation of deeper issues of purely greed, its none of your business?!

(and no, am not mahoosive myself)