Hello everyone,
I need some help.
I need honesty but I am a bit fragile so please be kind.
I was married last year with a new baby and very happy.
This year my husband cheated on me when my baby was young and we split. I tried to save the marriage but he was very unkind and vile. It took him 6 months to really apologise and Grovel at which time it was too late for me.
We are divorcing and get on okay. Our daughter is our priority.
Here's where it gets very complicated.
Before I met my husband I was in love with my best friend for years..
He was with me I guess but he didnt tell me this until I met my future husband and by that time I'd felt I'd waited around to long for him so I moved on. My husband stopped all contact but we spoke a few times over the years apart because I always wondered how he was and vis versa.
In that time he had a child of his own as did I.
I contacted him a few months back mainly to apologise for how I treated him originally as I was quite cold etc etc..
Anyway we immediately realised how much we missed eachother..
And its spiraled into wanting to spend a lot of time together and get to know eachother again. We care for eachother a great deal and I have been on the injection since having my baby last year.
Anyway.. my daughter was extremely I'll this year and I nearly lost her.. this terrified me beyond what I could imagine
I've been extremely stressed and got poorly, taking antibiotics etc ..
Long story short I've found out I'm pregnant..
I know my "friend" isnt ready for more kids I dont think and we are close and wojkd hate to ruin that but I have this awful feeling I would find it rather traumatic to have a termination.
It seems to really make me feel I'll at the thought of doing so..
I am in the biggest dilemma of my life.
My ex husband would hate me.. I dont know if my "friend " would be thrilled if I said I wanted to keep it but .. I feel torn and I'm scared. My injection has never failed previously and it took me a long time to fall pregnant with my little girl.
This year has been horrendous.
I just need some guidance ..
Some help.. would be great..
Thank you