Can't read him

[newting]

So I'm quite new to OLD.

Got talking to this lovely guy about 6 weeks ago . I'm not after a relationship and made this clear .
We talked for about 3 weeks before we decided to meet up . We got on really well and one thing lead to another and we had sex however , the poor lad only lasted about 5 mins . I told him not to worry and it happens . He asked to meet up the following night but I said I was busy .

I distanced myself for about a week but would wake up to messages from him saying how much I turned him on etc .
I decided to give it another go .
Every time I msg he responds within minutes, always seems really keen however , every time I suggest a meet up , he makes excuses on why he can't make that night etc ...

I cannot read him at all !

You messed him about so now he's messing you about.

He was probably also embarrassed so is scared of not being able to perform well again. He's probably also knocking off 5 other women if you've made it clear you only want sex.

If you don't want a relationship, what is it you do want from him?

Just sex to be honest . I haven't got time for a relationship but miss the intimacy.

Why are you wasting his and your time?

Neither of you win by prolonging this farce.

You're both avoidant. That's not a great recipe for a relationship of any kind.

You can't have it both ways: sex only, and no intimacy. He is mirroring your ambivalence.

Are you doing that weird MN thing of saying intimacy when you mean sex?

I wouldn't bother since the sex was crap and you didn't have another go at the time. If you just want someone to hook up with, then you want someone who goes a bit.

I'm afraid neither you nor he show up very well here.

Both users.

I'm really puzzled by what other posters are apparently seeing here. OP was clear she wasn't after a relationship. They had sex. Nobody's using anybody? What's wrong with not being in the right place for a relationship at this time?

@category12 - I use 'relationship' to mean any kind of interaction, including a FWB one.

But the OP also says she wants "intimacy" - and I'm not sure how you have that while maintaining the kind of detachment that a purely sexual relationship tends to embody.

I think - you’ve both made your excuses, and you were not satisfied with the previous night’s sex. Plenty of other guys out there that you can have ‘just sex’ with, if that definitely is what you want. Move on, find someone else.

I assumed she was using intimacy as another word for shag, like you see on here quite often. "We were intimate last night" - "we haven't been intimate for 6 years" etc.

Just tell him you're not interested.
Or give him a last chance, let him come up with a date and see if he keeps it or lasts more than 5 min.