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Original poster

Truth or lying, what do you think?

30 replies

BuzzyFly · 20/08/2019 15:11

I met a chap who has come around to my house do some minor repairs several times. All well & good. He's good looking, physically fit, very easy to talk to. He said I don't usually say this to my clients but would you like to meet for a coffee? I'm single & thought why not? He was nice, but I'm in no rush for a relationship & told him that. He's respected my boundaries & not pushed it. We've since met again & I asked if I could see where he lives as it's only 2 streets from me. He said I can't go there because it's a shared house. I believed him at the time but now I'm wondering if he's got a partner? I've seen his Facebook & it's only him & his dd. He says he has a good relationship with his ex & sees his dd every day. Do I believe he's single? Is he pulling the wool over my eyes? I'm curious because a well-spoken, good looking, respectful guy with his own mini business shouldn't be single at 40. What d'you think?

OP posts:
GilbertMarkham · 20/08/2019 15:17

Why would it be a shared house mean you couldn't go there with him. Even if they have a rule about guests overnight (unlikely); why couldn't you drop in with him for lunch/coffee whatever?

GilbertMarkham · 20/08/2019 15:17

*being

Username22344 · 20/08/2019 15:17

So because he lives in a shared house you can’t go there? Definitely lying about something

GilbertMarkham · 20/08/2019 15:19

It seems so unlikely that a mature adult in a shared house couldn't have guests over anyway.

GilbertMarkham · 20/08/2019 15:19

Some people do have more than one Facebook account incidentally.

Yeahnahmum · 20/08/2019 15:20

Lying. ..

WitsEnding · 20/08/2019 15:21

I'd wonder what kind of house share means you can't have visitors. I'd think about whether he takes you on 'dates' , or coffees that can easily be explained as client meetings or coincidence. Maybe suggest Saturday lunch/dinner in your local pub?

paul291 · 20/08/2019 15:22

I am here because i have recently posted something but as a guy who got divorced in my early 40's I lived in a shared house and I would never have taken somebody there, nothing to do with rules but to do with embarrassment, I had an excellent job but couldn't afford my own place and felt like a failure because a lot of the time the other people there were total bums. He could be very genuine.

SuzieQ10 · 20/08/2019 15:24

Probably still living with the 'ex'.
If he is living in a shared property, in his 40s, surely it would be ok for him to have someone over - why wouldn't it?

Gunk · 20/08/2019 15:24

Personally I wouldn’t be overly suspicious. I’d feel uncomfortable bringing someone back to a shared house (actually even my own house) after just a couple of dates.

loobyloo1234 · 20/08/2019 15:24

Could he just be a bit embarrassed about the house he currently shares? How long ago did him and his ex split up?

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 20/08/2019 15:26

He sees his child every day and won’t have you round his house? I’d say they are still together.

Gunk · 20/08/2019 15:26

If my husband and I were to separate, he would have to live in a shared house as he wouldn’t be able to support me and our child by renting a place of his own. And in his 40s himself, I know he’d feel quite embarrassed by that.

Summersunshine2 · 20/08/2019 15:30

Hard to tell but it may be gritty and embarrassing. Go for another date if you like him and find out more.

Atlasta · 20/08/2019 15:30

I'd ask the actual address. Just say you are curious. Drive past and see if it looks a bit run down etc which could mean he is embarrassed to invite you.
My instinct would be that this 'houseshare' is in fact a girlfriend.

thecatneuterer · 20/08/2019 15:52

Lying.

Thingsdogetbetter · 20/08/2019 15:52

Is he never going to allow you into his house-share or is the issue you've only been on two dates? I'd feel a bit pressured if someone wanted to check out my living arrangements after TWO dates while saying they want to take things slowly .

Seems a bit unlikely he'd be living with someone and then cheat with someone who lives only two minutes away. If he's meeting you locally to where he lives he's not hiding you so not worried about being seen with you.

Sexnotgender · 20/08/2019 15:54

I’d certainly be wary.

I’d do some digging and see what you can find out.

NewMe2019 · 20/08/2019 15:55

I know older men who live in houseshares so it could be true and an embarrassment thing. I'd dig a bit more if I liked him.

YouLookGood · 20/08/2019 15:58

Look him up on 192

Gunk · 20/08/2019 16:15

Seems a bit unlikely he'd be living with someone and then cheat with someone who lives only two minutes away. If he's meeting you locally to where he lives he's not hiding you so not worried about being seen with you.

^^ This too

crappyday2018 · 20/08/2019 16:39

Its seems unlikely he would be cheating with someone round the corner, although I get why you're suspicious. Do you go out publicly together? Surely if he was still with someone he wouldn't want to be seen with you.
I would ask him again and make a joke about it "you've not got a secret wife you're not telling me about have you?" and see how he reacts.

katewhinesalot · 20/08/2019 16:42

Does he hold your hand/be affectionate in the local vicinity?

Be wary but give him the benefit of the doubt. Ask questions about his housemates. Ask questions about his ex wife. Not in an interrogating way but in a making conversation way.

Scorpiovenus · 20/08/2019 16:50

He said I don't usually say this to my clients but would you like to meet for a coffee?

Yea I bet the fact he had to put a false disclaimer on is a big sign. Buff him off a week or so and not let him come to your home and see how interested he is then. Most blokes try it on and if I had a quid every time one did. Ah id be loaded.

men being men, take it as flattery as that is all this will be

Madfrogs · 20/08/2019 17:04

Could you google his street for houseshares? See if any actually come up? Check the registered address of his handy man company on companies house too.