How to want better for yourself

[Blythesummer32]

I’m 5 weeks post break up after a 14 month relationship. My ex boyfriend was selfish at times and emotionally a bit immature / lacked empathy in certain situations but I was also in the wrong to. I was not fully committed emotionally in my heart until it was too late when he broke up with me.

I need to move on. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want to go backwards - and in that way he’s been very mature and kind about things. But I am wracked by how different things might have been if I had been fairer to him to in the relationship. I’m wondering how to move on and also how to believe there is better out there for me. I am worried that I will carry this regret with me for years.

Sort yourself out first and then you will be in the right emotional state to treat others well and expect to be treated well. Make sure you are happy, healthy and independent with some interesting life goals and ambitions that you'll pursue with or without a partner. Practise treating people fairly and sticking to your word. E.g. not standing friends up when you get a better offer, not shouting at family members if you've had a hard day etc.

When you meet a man, set standards high. People test each other to find the lowest behaviour level a new partner tolerates. Know what you won;t put up with and never put up with it. Know what sort of partner you want to be for a man and do your best to live up to that aim. (Eg. I come from a shouty family. DH doesn't. I decided to be more like DH and quit screaming. It's SO nice to live in a calm environment.)