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Relationships

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Original poster

Wearing exs Hoodie

35 replies

LookingForFemaleAdvice · 19/08/2019 19:12

Need some female advice. As my girlfriend came over earlier and she was wearing a Hoodie and I asked her if it was new and she said no she found it and it still smelt like aftershave. She tried to say it was mine and I know it wasn't. Then she admitted it was her exs

She already has 2 of mine at her house that I gave her. I gave her mine today to put on and she didn't put it on she said it was comfortable. I wouldn't wear the bracelet my ex got me

Any advice would be appreciated

OP posts:

Worgust · 19/08/2019 19:15

Girlfriend really needs to get on top of her laundry.

SimonJT · 19/08/2019 19:19

It’s just a hoodie, I still wear a few things an ex left behind, I don’t see any need to throw away perfectly good clothes that I like.

I also wear an engagement ring from an engagement that ended almost three years ago, it is now on my right hand and fairly plain. But I like it, it fits and I don’t see the point in selling it or leaving it in a box.

It’s just a hoodie.

Rubbinghimsweetly2 · 19/08/2019 19:23

This is quite personal in my book.

SparklyMagpie · 19/08/2019 19:26

The question is..if it still smells of his aftershave....when did they break up?

Raphael34 · 19/08/2019 19:31

My boyfriend wore a ring bought for him by his ex the entire 13 years we were together. He said he just liked it. Didn’t bother me at all, and I think that’s a lot more personal than a hoody. I think you’re over reacting. She’s with you, not him. Theres no need for jealousy

Dangerfloof · 19/08/2019 19:33

Oh dear, I wore an ex's tshirts til they wore out (as nightshirts) part lack of money for new, part they were comfy and warm. No one else took offence!

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 19/08/2019 19:42

Two options :

she's wearing the hoodie because she was cold.
she's wearing the hoodie as a signal to you that she still loves her ex and wants to make you jealous by rubbing your nose in how much better at choosing hoodies he was than you.

If you think it's 1, then you need to chill. If you think it's 2, then you have bigger problems than a hoodie. But don't start banging on about her getting rid of the hoodie "out of respect" for you. I still own and wear loads of clothes from various exes, and it's not like I'm in love with all of them.

SparklyMagpie · 19/08/2019 19:43

But in all seriousness I have a ring given to me by my son's dad when we were together that is very special to me and would most likely still wear if it fit now.
And i also have the most amazing bracelet that I occasionally wear when out somewhere nice and charm that i still where off my recent ex, we are on great terms still, but regardless I'd still wear them because they are special and have meaning to me and I love them too much to see them shoved in their boxes hidden away

Although when it comes to the bracelet it is incredibly sparkly and I'm a magpie so I like to wear it when the sun shines 😂

Original poster

LookingForFemaleAdvice · 19/08/2019 20:08

But why didn't she wear the one I gave her to wear. Or the ones I gave her that are at her house

OP posts:

Thingsdogetbetter · 19/08/2019 20:10

Cos it was top of the pile. Simples!

Crazybunnylady123 · 19/08/2019 20:26

Personally all my ex’s stuff went in the bin. I wouldn’t want to wear his clothes.
If I did I would think it would be hurtful to my current dp, in my opinion it’s quite a personal thing. Maybe you should just talk to her. People feel differently about certain things.

Original poster

LookingForFemaleAdvice · 19/08/2019 20:26

She said she found it but if I found something my ex gave me I wouldn't wear it. I like the bracelet my ex bought for me and I know if I wore it she would be asking me why.

OP posts:

category12 · 19/08/2019 20:27

But why didn't she wear the one I gave her to wear. Or the ones I gave her that are at her house

No idea. What's your theory?

Original poster

LookingForFemaleAdvice · 19/08/2019 20:45

I don't know what to think because at first she lied and said it was mine and I know it wasn't. And if she found it how would it still have aftershave on it because we have been together since 2017

OP posts:

Frlrlrubert · 19/08/2019 21:38

I'm currently wearing the necklace an ex got me 15 years ago. There's a scarf somewhere that started off as his and mostly gets worn by my husband (together 8 years, married 5).

However, an aftershave smelling hoodie turning up after two years is a little odd, unless she's really lax with the laundry.

(If I found a hoodie from ages ago that was mostly clean I'd probably wear it too though, long lost hoodies are somehow more cosy than recent hoodies, more nostalgic)

Original poster

LookingForFemaleAdvice · 19/08/2019 22:16

I thought it was weird.

She also tried to say the aftershave was mine when I hugged her but it wasn't

OP posts:

AgentJohnson · 20/08/2019 17:26

Girlfriend really needs to get on top of her laundry.

Her wearing it isn’t much of an issue, she just might prefer it to yours. Her not washing it and pretending it was yours is. However, your need to ask and what it feels like territory marking) with your sweater, is also odd.

The relationship sounds like far too much work.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 20/08/2019 17:31

I fully believe there is absolutely nothing in it, and she's just wearing it because she was cold/ it was the first one she grabbed. BUT I see why it bothers you and it's not something I'd do.

Sisterlove · 20/08/2019 17:47

Well one thing that would piss me off was her lying and saying it was yours. Some would call that gaslighting.

The other thing that crossed my mind...is does it really belong to an Ex....or could she be cheating on you and it belongs to her AP?

AmIThough · 20/08/2019 17:55

It'd be different if she'd washed it and worn it a lot over the past two years, but wearing it because of the smell and then lying about it is just weird.

Alloftit · 20/08/2019 20:03

How on earth would it still smell of another man 2 years later?! Nah, she’s having you on OP, especially with the lying about it too/trying to convince you you don’t even know your own jumpers. I’d be very, very suspicious, and I’m pretty chilled normally.

TheCanyon · 20/08/2019 20:08

I was wearing a hoodie today that was my ex boyfriends, 17 years ago! It's MY hoodie now, and one of my favourite ones! Granted, it clearly doesn't smell of him now... but I DO remember when it did.

Doesn't bother my dh in the slightest that I still wear it often.

QueenOfPain · 20/08/2019 20:09

This sounds like a very comprehensive school dilemma.

She’s totally BU.

Original poster

LookingForFemaleAdvice · 20/08/2019 20:16

It annoyed me as well because she lied and said it wasn't mine and then she said the aftershave was mine and she kept saying that it was mine when it wasn't

OP posts:

ChristmasFluff · 20/08/2019 20:36

People seem to be completely missing the point - it smelled of aftershave that the GF said was OPs and it wasn't.

If OP was a woman saying her partner came around smelling of perfume and told her it was hers when it wasn't, would these replies be the same?

She's trying to pull the wool over your eyes, OP. It may not even be an ex's hoodie (it wouldn't still smell of aftershave), more likely another man's. Or she herself smells of another man.

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