Overthinking

[AddisonForbesMontgomery]

It’s what the subject header says really,

I’ve begun to speak to a new man, he seems lovely, we seem to have a lot in common, I would like to meet him, but (because there’s always a but), I escaped an abusive relationship two and a half years ago, so I keep looking for fault in him and a reason why this couldn’t work.

I perused his Facebook following us adding each other and he is a leave voter (I really wish this were a lighthearted thread), so I’ve started to have doubts, because I am remain. Now I should say, whatever his views are it’s up to him and I don’t believe in judging, the main reason this has bothered me is because my ex believed one thing, and I another, and over time my belief was eroded and belittled by him. I’m so afraid of starting something off when we have such opposing views on a contentious and current issue.

Can anyone help me with my overthinking please?

@Gorillaandme I think that is very different, though. You and your husband have clearly been together for a number of years to feel comfortable enough to have banter about your votes. The whole subject has become very emotive on both sides, so meeting a new person who voted opposite to you can be a deal breaker for some.

I should probably say again, I don’t judge anyone’s vote, I have no right to, my concern is having different beliefs,

However, I’ve thought on this all day, and I’ve decided to let this one slide, as someone said up thread if I really liked him this wouldn’t bother me, so I’ll keep looking for the right man. Thank you all for your help!

if I really liked him this wouldn’t bother me

Eh? Am I missing something? You’ve never even met the man. Seriously, you gave no idea if you like him or not at this stage!

Is not the most important thing in relationships whether you care enough about the others feelings and can compromise?

It's about the way you interact. Aren't all beliefs the sun of our experiences?

I would give everyone a chance, you never know!

Sun = sum!

How do you know him? Just online? Friends of friends? Via a dating app? (sorry I am old and out of touch) I didn't realise you hadn't even met him.

As other have said it would depend on how vehement his posts were and the views he expressed but a lot of leave voters chose to vote the way they did for quite legitimate reasons. I'd like to think they'd since seen the light - I think many have but a few are still hellbent on it, whatever the damage.

Some of my friends are leave voters and we just agree not to talk about it (it's not easy though - and getting even less so.)

Amazing to think no-one would have a clue what this conversation was about just 5 years ago.

I voted leave gasp 😂 and not for immigration reasons (despite the press tottering this out for the main reason) , I would absolutely date a remain voter, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and have it respected. I don’t think it’s possible to agree on absolutely everything or even a majority of things, especially when politics are concerned but I think it’s what you personally hold important.
As long as respective date holds his family dear, is kind, considerate , thoughtful and honest then those are the boxes ticked for me. Everything else in the grand scheme of things is a lot of cobblers. What harm will one date do?