Messaging another woman - WWYD

[messagesonhols]

My DH has been messaging another woman. I don't know her, she works in the same organisation but on another team:

I found the messages a few days ago on FB messenger. They weren't overtly sexual or lovey-Dovey but they were flirtations I would say.
Comments from her about his new look (beard) being 'cute' and she would like him to cook for her and talk about holidays and her not being able to go away as she would be alone, he said 'hope springs eternal' and would want to take her.

After finding these I have kept looking. Screenshot some they day after but the big o got was pretty innocuous. Thing is, he keeps deleting them. So although I I think the messages are flirtatious the fact he is doing this makes me think the situation is not innocent.

I have caught him looking around when on his phone and I am elsewhere (or so he thinks)

I haven't said anything as we are on holiday and I won't wreck that for the kids. So I keep snooping

Other than the phone he is his normal self.

I don't want to confront without hard facts. Because then if it is innocent I have said something a d snooped his phone etc.

However, why delete if all innocent?

Thoughts alll? Previous threads on these subjects are helping me not to speak out yet. Advice welcome

PS the messages all seem to be FB, she isn't in his phone contacts unless under a diff name

Big fat nope. My DP and I would dump each other if we found messages like these on the other's phone (not that we would look, but no judgement here - I've uncovered cheating through snooping and have no regrets.)
Sorry he's such a prick. Sounds like they're in the early stages of an affair.

Thanks for replying

I totally agree, it's not innocent

Financially, he earns a fair bit more than me, but we have been married 20 years and he works for an organisation with a nice pension if you see what I mean
The house is paid for and I earn a decent salary. I don't worry about that - some things would no doubt be unaffordable but I can look after myself and the kids.

Bastard.

She is 18 years younger than him. No doubt a bit of fun. Silly cow

I am also not reacting as yet. Mainly because we are out of the country and it would be shit for the kids even though my first reaction was to tell him to fuck off home or me jump on a plane

I have read so many of these threads and it's spurred me on to play sleuth when it's happened to me. You are all fab

I think people just love the buzz of this kind of shit- even if they don’t initially intend it to go beyond that, problem is it’s incredibly hurtful , even if it’s not an actual affair. Knowing what I know now I would wAit till you come back , keep on with the snooping and make sure you know the score of your options and then and only then say to him, ‘ you have 5 minutes to explain to me exactly why you are texting this crap to xxxx , hiding and deleting it and exactly why I shouldn’t end the relationship right now because I am very angry and extremely hurt ‘ and see the reaction .

She is single and available

Hilariously, I just texted a relative about their ill partner and got a 'you are always on your. Phone' comment

Yeah. Maybe. Not flirting with a bloke tho!!

Told him to fuck off concerned about relative

But he is the victim

Such a cliche divert divert divert

He's a prick OP.

Ugh another pathetic walking mid life crisis with a thirsty ego.... You're in an excellent position to fuck him off OP, and personally thats what i'd be doing.

You deserve better.

He said he would want to take her on holiday?

I'd be kicking him out for that. He can go bugger off with her then. He'll come crawling back when he realises the mistake he's made, but send him packing. Doubt she'll want him either.