What would you do? Would you just leave this relationship?

[Igiveupx]

Found a message on my boyfriend’s phone from nearly a month ago to his ex (apparently she wasn’t nice and he was done with her!). He was texting me that night and everything was going well, suddenly he started getting really nasty, calling me boring etc I told him to text xxxxx (ex girlfriend) because she isn’t boring like myself. So he started texting her (but never told me), she was vague in her answers and eventually ignored him... in his last message he says “love to you and yours always x”. I confronted him and he says he doesn’t remember texting her... that he was probably drunk etc, I told him that is not an excuse. I’m really not happy and wonder what everyone would do in this situation?

Are you both at school???

So him verbally abusing you via text isn't bothering you?!?! Well I suppose at least his texts to his uninterested ex are! . Does he often get so drunk he can't remember anything or is he using that as a convenient excuse? Neither of which are good.

The verbal abuse, the messages to ex are both valid reasons to dump. The two together and the fact you're still diddering means you need to work on your boundaries. They're way too low and you should be questioning your willingness to accept such behaviour.

Of course it bothers me when he gets nasty. But this is about him contacting his ex when he shouldn’t and of course hiding it from me! She clearly didn’t want to text him (maybe because gifts/money weren’t involved) but what if she did, what could have happened? He knows this sort of thing bothers me, so why do it?

You are focusing on the wrong problem. The abuse should be forefront. The rest is just added information.

It would count for more if there was no abuse. And reading between the lines from your response, him getting nasty is a common occurrence.

Sometimes when he gets drunk he gets nasty, I know this is an issue... I really want to know if people would stay in a relationship after finding out their your boyfriend was texting an ex girlfriend?

You should get out. He's abusive and nasty and contacts his ex with loving messages.

He need to go.

He is horrible to you and not interested enough in you to not want to be in touch with his ex so that's enough to show you he isn't the one for you!

The basics should be someone who only wants you and is nice and respectful towards you, if those absolute basics are missing there isn't enough to build anything on so don't waste your time!

FGS, dump him. But because he's nasty to you.

He'll do it when you live together and he gets drunk. Then he'll be nasty when he's not drunk. Then he's likely to be physically nasty.

But, sure, him contacting his ex is the main issue...

Get some self respect. If he doesn't treat you well enough at all times, you're better off without him.

Remember: drink doesn't change people, just reveals them.

I would have left him for being a nasty drunk, that is the main issue here, texting an ex like that is not on but I think the nastiness would have had me gone before we even got to the point of him texting his ex. If he finds you so boring why is he staying with you ? why are you putting up with him being nasty towards you ? Life is too short for that kind of shit !

He was nasty, you were childish, he was a knob.

'Love to you and yours x' means pretty much the same 'Hope everybody's well' and is the least of your problems. I wouldn't be upset by this specifically but I'd be pissed if he text an ex.

So he's verbally abusive AND can't be trusted. Sounds like a nice guy. Just dump him.

You both sound like school kids! Him being nasty - you saying "text your ex as she isnt boring" - so he does!

You both need to get a grip! Dump him and get some self respect!

Crikey, I hope you are both teenagers...

Don't waste any more time with an unreliable man, He sounds immature and not very bright.

FFS you told him to and now you're moaning.