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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lack of communication is ruining everything

1 reply

Slimerecipehell · 18/08/2019 23:27

I have been with my dp for 3 yrs, we don’t live together, both have children. He has always been bad at communicating but this time I feel there are too many little things that have turned into me struggling to be around him. He arranged a day out for us that I knew nothing about (which was lovely ) as he thought he mentioned it but has interfered with other plans and I am expected to drop them to go, I’m never quite sure if he is having a Saturday off work which means we could do something, he hasn’t checked with his children (older than mine) if they are free to come away with us for a last minute break, they are now working because he didn’t talk to them about it, we are casually house hunting but he has seen somewhere that his friend has told him about so we just went and drive round there at the weekend, me totally oblivious to where we were going, he then announces he might sell his business and has a prospective buyer! First I knew about it. There are a few other bits that he seems to plan in his head but fails to mention them out loud so to speak. I don’t want to change him but it’s just built up to a resentment this week and I’ve had enough. What do I do? Ask him to start telling me stuff, but then I feel like I’m nagging or interfering. He is so wonderful in every other way, but this is quite a big thing isn’t it, if he can’t communicate....

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 18/08/2019 23:34

I have a similar issue and have told my boyfriend numerous times to communicate more with me.
He thinks I want to know his every move and doesn’t see why he should tell me.
It has improved slightly over the last 3 years since we met but it’s a very slow process .
I find it’s me that initiates most messages etc and I don’t think I would hear much at all if I didn’t . It is exhausting . I think you have to decide if you can live with it or not as this is how they are and very unlikely to change .

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