I really could do with other people’s opinions on this situation I have with my MIL. I don’t know where to begin, there’s so much to tell you but I will try and keep it to the point.
Ok, so, myself and DH (together 11yrs married 5) have DS who is 10 and I have an adult daughter from previous. The three of us live at my mums, my dad passed away a few years ago and we moved in to save for our own house and because she’s on her own.
My mum is lovely, I’ve always been close to my parents but don’t get me wrong we’ve had our ups and downs and even had a blazing row last year (all’s good generally though) she’s supported us a lot over the years,
MIL was widowed 18m ago from her second husband. I’ve always got on well with her and she’s always been a generous lady to us also.
BIL, always been trouble, tells lies, used to steal, take drugs ( in fact he had to leave our city because he’d run up such debt and had to hide) generally bad news and nasty. He’s recently married a young lady with a DD (from another city) who are both lovely and he seems to have grown up quite a lot although he is still quite hard work and controlling, I tend to avoid him after some trouble he caused a couple of years ago and now my DS is cottoning on to what he is like and doesn’t like being around him.
BIL is spending a lot of time with MIL since her husband died (he didn’t bother before as he hated her husband) he didn’t even bother coming to see her when she had a heart attack. Anyway, now her husband has gone BIL is around his mum all the time. She has tried several times to take our DS to BIL’s but he doesn’t want to go.
there have been a few incidents that have happened over the last year or so where my DS has come home after being with them and told me nanny has been saying nasty things about our family. One of these things is that my own brother isn’t a real uncle to my DS (I think she’s trying to make BIL more popular by running down my brother)
There’s been other nasty things she’s said, not overly bad but uncalled for comments about my daughter and my mum (who she’s always been lovely to face to face). There was then a recent incident where she was collecting DS from school and took him to BILs house against our will rather than to meet my mum with him and caused no end of shit and confusion.
So, that’s a lot of the backstory. I called her to talk about the thing that happened after school and to also ask why she’s been saying horrible things about my family to our ten year old son. She flat out denied it and said he’s a liar. I again spoke with him the importance of this and he swears she did and that he’s not a liar. I know he’s telling the truth.
Since then we’ve tried to meet up to clear the air and she’s put obstacles in the way of meeting. She’s avoiding us a lot, she totally blanks me on FB and a whole host of other silly things which I’m happy to go into if anyone’s interested.
Today DH spoke with her and said we need to sort things out and she agreed however where the hell do we go with it? I want to sort it out but she has called our son a liar and could have potentially got him into trouble for something he hasn’t done.
When/if we do meet up to talk about it I need to make it clear that what she’s done by making out our son to be a liar to save her own skin is totally unreasonable but I know she will continue to lie so it’s a stalemate position.
I want to try and save some sort of relationship with her for my DH and DS sake but it’s a mess.
God, sorry that was long. I’m happy to go into a lot more if people want the info but didn’t want to ramble.