What's Up?

[hadabadday]

I am constantly being asked by my DP "what's up?" and its driving me nuts. He doesn't do it in a "what's wrong?" kind of way, its more a case of him saying "what you doing?" IYSWIM?

For instance we took the kids to the park on friday, he sat on a bench and a few minutes later I sat down too and he asked "what's up?" ?? I just said "nothing, i'm just sitting down".

That night I went into the fridge for the milk, DP is stood there and asked "whats up?" so I told him I was just getting the milk.

Just now he's snoring away in bed, I've been up a couple of hours and as I walked into the bedroom he woke up when he heard me, watched me sit on the computer chair and said "whats up?" FGS I feel like I have to explain every little thing I do, I've tried ignoring him but he just repeats him as if he really wants to know.

A few minutes ago he looked up to see that I was on the PC (about to right this!) and he said "whats up?" ????grrr so I said "nothing" and he said "what you looking at on there?"

Would this annoy the hell out of you or am I irrationally angry?

That would annoy the hell out of me tbh.

Maybe its a bad habbit your DP has gotten into and doesn't realise that he is actually saying it iykwim.

Tell him, nothings up and to stop asking you whats up as it is annoying the hell out of you. Or you could try screaming at him, dont know what good it will do, but it might make you feel better

Yes it would annoy the hell out of me too. dh used to be much the same still can be occassionally if I don't check it when he does it. If I went on pc he'd ask "what ya up to" if I got a text, call, email etc he would ask who it was from and what they were saying used to drive me mad.

As previous poster has said it could be just a bad habit that needs nipping in the bud. You could try telling him in a loving caring way that it's nice that he asks but if there is something wrong he'd be the first you'd turn to for help/advice, it will polish his ego and hopefully assure him that there is nothing wrong and not feel the need to ask anymore.

Another possibility is that he could feel a little excluded from your life at present and is constantly asking 'whats up' to get attention as he doesn't know how else to do it?

Also alot of people ask questions like this when they have something to hide and they are trying to gauge if your on to them.

Theres so many reasons he could be doing this, you need to talk to him without it becoming a row and see if you can work it out before he drives you insane with it. xx

You should just reply, my aggravation levels.

lol, I say "sky" he laughs and knows now

Tricky- I am going to suggest something that you might not have thought about.

Maybe something is up with HIM. Perhaps he sees your silence as a reaction to something HE has done- could he feel guilty abut anything? In other words, is he trying to open up about something, and using your silence as a cue to that conversation? it seems obvious to me that he's trying to talk about something with you- but can't actually bring himself to do so, so he goes about it an indirect way.

I reckon he feels very insecure- possibly because you shut him out, or he feels guilty and wants to talk about things.

Next time he says it- asks why he thinks something iswrong, rather than just saying nothing is wrong! As I said, he either thinks you are giving off bad vibes- or he thinks you ought to be for some reason!

Get talking- it's the only way.

ps. Have just re-read your post and I know you say he doesn't mean "what's wrong" - bbut maybe he does.

Or, he has such a limited vocabulary that these are the only words he knows to try to start a conversation! A bit like someone saying, "Hello, I'm here...let's talk about something..."!