DH doesn't want to have sex anymore

[thisismyotherprofile]

I'm not sure why I'm posting. Just to vent I suppose because I know what my options are. 1. Accept it and put up with it or 2. Leave. I don't have anyone IRL i feel comfortable enough with that I could talk to about it.

We've been together 5 years, married for 2 with one DC (3).

We just don't have sex anymore. He says he's not interested in sex. He's always too tired whenever I've suggested it and I've never tried to pressure him. I've tried everything to encourage 'the mood' like making nice dinners, losing weight, buying nice clothes and underwear etc but he doesn't want to anymore. I don't think he's having an affair and he says that he still finds me attractive and I believe him. I asked him to see his GP which he did. His GP didn't think there was anything medically wrong. It's difficult to accept that someone you love no longer desires you or wants to be that intimate.

We had a sex life before we got married but it has dried up completely now. I feel like now he's got me he doesn't need to pretend anymore. This must be the real him now. I just wish he had told me at the beginning that he was asexual.

I don't know what responses I'm expecting, probably just stories of you're own experiences with someone who is asexual or as someone who is asexual.

I didn't think that I would be giving up on having a sex life at 35! I had always thought it would be something I find important in a relationship but now I've got to find ways of keeping us strong and maintaining our bond.

Sorry to just vent. It has helped me to just write all of this down.

I asked him last night if he was feeling any better with his tiredness and stress. He said he was feeling better. He said that we are both always too tired for it and he's just accepted that this is life now. This made me so angry! I can't believe he's putting this onto me as though I'm too tired and reject him. I've never rejected him. I just went to bed. I didn't want to argue.

I brought it up this morning and he said that he had told me he was feeling better so he was disappointed that I had my PJs on last night. Why would I keep throwing myself at him and getting into bed naked in the hope that one time he will feel slightly aroused?! Please tell me I wasn't BU!

I told him how it made me feel to be constantly rejected and that's why I can't keep putting myself in that position anymore. I told him that there was no point in me keep suggesting an early night or me trying to initiate sex when he doesn't want it and can't get aroused. I told him it's not fair to expect me to always try to initiate every time in the hope he wants it. He would have to initiate it too. He didn't say anything to that because deep down I know that he doesn't want to have sex with me.

He said not having sex anymore did bother him and he wanted that to change. I don't think I believe him. He used to 'joke' when I was pregnant that some of his friends had told him that "the shutters came down" after his friends' wives had their babies. I think he was hoping this would be the case with me. I think he was disappointed that I carried on wanting a sex life.

Sorry for the further venting!

Please tell me I wasn't BU!

Of course you weren't! Do you not want any more children OP?
I feel sad that you would just accept this honestly. You are 35. Prime of life. He needs to address this properly - or at least try? For your sake

I ended 2 long terms for this also.

Strange thing is when you google this it always corrects it to the mans side when the wife does not want sex.

it will eventually eat you up. If you don't leave now you will do later or when you start to get sexual attention its game over lol.