Am I wandering into being an OW?

[WhatWhyWhen]

I don’t agree with it for clarity! My marriage ended because he cheated.

Met a man online, he’s lovely and hot (as far as you can tell on text and calls), but we haven’t met yet as he’s quite far away. Separated 7 months. Really unlikely to be anything serious but it’s fun and while I want a relationship I’m happy to have fun meeting new people on the way

Anyway I got a photo the other day and he was wearing a ring . I obviously asked him why he hadn’t removed it and he fessed up they have split but right now due to ease he lives in the spare for the kids and finances. The photo was clearly the spare room.

Apparently he fought for the marriage for a year and half but she doesn’t want it, and it’s time for him to move on so they separated 7 months ago. The ring stops questions from other people (tiny village in a conservative country).

Now I’m not going to get feelings hurt as I’m not investing it would be a fling because I’m not being with someone so soon out of marriage I can’t imagine. So forget me. But I won’t hurt another woman if it’s bollocks.

I’ve seen lots of people on the threads here talking about how hard it is to date because their situation means they are living with the ex, so it could be true. But I’m not fucking some other woman over if it’s not. How the hell do I know?

Oh I’m not attached Rue and I’m not wedded to ending singledom with this one. He’s hot and funny it would be good. That simply selfish!

But no sadly not a risk worth taking for it.

amai thank you, it does make it more shady...

Oh he's Irish?

That's no excuse!

Somebody on mn once said a good thing to ask is ''do your children know you're separated?'' as you get a clear picture there, is this out in the open, or will you be co-opted in to either secrecy or duplicity.

@Teddybear45 I agree with that. Years of OLD and the only ''honourable'' men I met if you like were living with their parents. So it did change a few of my perceptions about there being something inherently wrong with a man living with his parents. A few I met were living with their parents so that their children could stay at the same school and other selfless reasons like that, or that they understood that their children had experienced enough change with them moving out without selling the house from under them as well ten minutes later!

This was just an impression formed but the more selfish men would push for the house to be sold, refuse to move in to their parents' house for a while, even if their kids were upset and facing the junior cert, ykwim?

Anyway, I'm not going to get married. But I don't want to date anybody who isn't free.

Block him op. It will end in tears....

You have to divorce. Forget the Irish guy . That is probably blarney .
You would have met by now .

My ex and I lived together after we split, divorce was already going through. He was free to date. It doea happen and more common these days I think.

Anne tell that to my ex!!

We’ve only been talking a couple of weeks so not unusual not to meet yet.

What is unusual is very few texts on a Saturday... family day?

Another Irish person here. I also think it's a dubious explanation. If he doesn't want his family to know it's nothing to do with being Catholic, it's more to do with the fact he's a mammys boy i'd say.

If he's at the point now where he is starting to date then it makes no sense whatsoever to keep wearing the ring and keep everything a secret. If they split up that long ago and he met the woman of his dreams tomorrow she would look the other woman if he was to start dating her.

There was recently a referendum in Ireland about divorce, people had to wait 5 years before and the referendum was passed to allow the laws to be changed to lessen that wait time, however i'm not sure if the government have changed the laws yet and if the 5 year rule still applies, so if you're waiting for divorce it could be a long time!