You tell me you weren’t thinking.
You weren’t thinking?
You can’t not think. Try now. Try not thinking. You can’t. So you were thinking. You are always thinking.
You were thinking you wanted that woman so much that you were prepared to risk everything.
Your wife, your children, your job, your house, your friends’ respect.
None of it meant more to you than getting inside her.
You tell me you felt guilty when it was happening. That makes it worse. That means that in the final moments, as the clothes came off, you finally realized that maybe it wasn’t worth it. Maybe it wasn't worth the risk.
But you carried on anyway. Because you didn't want to upset her.
Because even keeping her from feeling rejected in that moment meant more to you than your family, your home, your career.
You tell me you weren’t thinking in that moment, that you got carried away. But what about all the thinking that happened before that? What about all the flirting, the planning, the deceit, the engineering situations, the complimenting, the rejecting, the opening up, the pulling away, the lying, the fucking lying. All the lying.
You were thinking then, weren’t you.
You were thinking then, you motherfucker.