I am three months pregnant, it's my first child and second pregnancy (previously had a miscarriage) for the first 2 months my boyfriend (of two years) was pushing for an abortion because he wasn't ready, and he didn't want to get a 'full-time job', but I felt/feel bonded to the baby and just couldn't/wouldn't do it.
When he told his parents, they suddenly declared they didn't like me and banned me from going over to their house, there had never been any previous issues with them, and I would spend time with them once/twice a week - we all seemed to get on very well, but the moment they found out I was pregnant they suddenly declared they do not like me????
My boyfriend is a struggling actor, and has been struggling for 7 years. At most, he's gotten a couple of big adverts in that time, but no more then 2-3. I told him I'm not expecting him to drop everything to support me, and he said that it didn't feel right and he would do everything to support me, he also works part-time in a restaurant. I'm quite established in my field, I work for an amazing, very flexible company and have a great salary, with savings. Basically, I'm on more then enough money, I don't need him to give up acting. That isn't what I want.
But so far, his plan is, I will work up until I almost drop, then I will take 6 months off as maternity and go back to work so we can continue having the luxuries we do. He will be sole carer for our child, unless he gets an acting job abroad, which he normally gets very last minute, at which point I'm expected to use up my holiday to take off work and stay with the baby.
On top of that, on Monday, I found out I have APS, which makes me very, very high risk. My boyfriend has declared that auditions/acting are more important then baby scans etc - he won't be coming to the nuchal scan, or appointments if he lands (even very small) acting jobs. If you know anything about acting, you will know a small job will be something like a £50 advert for LadBible that takes 9 hours to shoot. I don't mind if he misses a few, but this pregnancy has already been quite hard - a little bit of support would be nice?
Am I being unreasonable to expect him to be at certain doctor appts/scans? Am I being unreasonable for expecting anything at all? Given how he acted at the beginning and how he's acting now, despite him saying he now wants the baby, should I treat it as though I'm going to be a single mum? How do I do that when I still love him? When I get upset over things, he tells me I'm abusing him, am I?
I really can't think straight.