Hi sorry if this is a bit long - will try just keep it to facts
Friends for 12 years, we were super close in our younger uni days and even went off travelling together for a year - when we were together constantly that year I saw a very needy streak in her, jealous of me having separate friends, me going out to things without her, she'd kick off/cause drama on nights out every time and i'd have to take her home ! At the time I was 21 and the drama didn't bother me all that much
fast forward to when we are home, she calls several times a week for super long chats that are basically all about her - 2 mins at the start asking how I am then just her drama, started feeling like I wasn't getting much from the friendship.
Then I move away to another Country with my then BF now DH - she gives me crap about leaving her and how I will have a terrible time and won't be long til I come crawling back - not supportive at all and not happy for me tried to put a wedge between me & DP!
We pop back home regularly for various reasons, weddings, birthdays, just to visit - every time we are back there is drama! At a friends wedding she kicked off at me about not being a good enough friend to her and was trying to take me away and have it out - I put her in a taxi and sent her home as it was not her day
Then a friends big birthday party she again kicks off at me about how I've changed, I don't call enough, how come i don't visit just to see her especially, how dare I not make time for her tonight (I was catching up with about 30 other people and her this night and was on the dance floor with everyone enjoying myself - I could see her from a big group dance circle with all our mates - she was standing alone outside it with a big face on her refusing to join in - then she was gone!
Next day I get a long text about how shit I am etc - at this stage I had had enough - I'm 30 years old and just don't need this drama in my life - she was making me feel so anxious and stressed so I blocked her for a time just for a break!
Got back talking again - she caused a lot of drama in lead up to my wedding because I wasn't having a big wedding just immediate family for day time and then big party in eve for all our friends- for months she gave me shit about not being involved, expecting to be bridesmaid etc (I had none)more stress and anxiety in my life!
Recently my Gran died who I was so close to and was terribly upset - I let her know about it and that I was rushing home to be with family/funeral - she sent one text saying oh sorry to hear!
I let her know the arrangements and she didn't show up at the wake which was 3 days long nor did she show up at the funeral! Then she texts me when I am boarding the plane home after a crap weekend and she says "sorry couldn't make it, family stuff, hope it wasn't too terrible..." I just had enough and blocked her from social media, whatsapp, text, calls everything!
It's been 4months now and a bit of guilt is creeping in that i'm a bit harsh - should I try clear the air and end the friendship properly or am I doing the right thing to just leave it and let this fade out - im planning to move back home soon and have this awful anxiety that i'm gonna run into her or something and there will be drama - I feel like i've come out of an abusive relationship - and the thoughts of spending time with her again actually gives me severe anxiety!
I feel bad because her mum is not well and I was quite close with her mum and was part of their family for some years and I feel like it's not just her i've lost, it's them too!