Confused after first date

[IloveKites]

So I went on a first date with someone I met online - it went really well from my perspective, and he said he’d really enjoyed himself and wanted to see me again.

He asked to meet up in a few days the day after. After that he started taking a long time to respond to my texts - like a few hours, and his responses are much shorter than before. He’s also been online on the dating site, whilst not responding to me.

Am I over-worrying/over-analysing, or is this a bad sign that he’s ignoring my texts, but is online on the dating site?

Listen to his actions, not his words.

Sounds like double timing. Move on.

Yes it’s a bad sign (sorry).
Doesn’t mean it can’t happen for you, he’s just not blown away. If he was REALLY into you he would be all over it.

This was helpful for me

Its not a good sign but technically he's not doing anything wrong. He will be keeping his options open and talking to others (as you should be). You've only been on 1 date after all. My advice would be to cool down with the texts and let him come to you. If he doesn't then he isn't that interested. Next.

he's lost interest

FFS why would you keep texting him? You've frightened him off. He'll think you don't have a life. One date.

I'd guess he's had a date with someone else in the meantime, which he thinks went "better" than yours.

You can either back the hell off and let him do the chasing (which may well make him keener) or just back the hell off and bin him.

Don't lose your dignity doing the "Pick me!" dance.

You have been on one date. Step back a bit. You should both be seeing other people and still on the app at this stage.

Move on

He's putting more energy into dating other people than he was prior to your date, and whilst I'm all for people keeping their options open at an early stage, I think the change in amount of texting post-date isn't a good sign. Although it also may be that he only texts a lot pre-first date. If he's someone who generally doesn't use text as a primary means of communication (there are some of us around) he may want to nip that 'all day conversation' stuff in the bud.

I agree with those who say to get some more dates with others going on too, because overthinking at the first date stage isn't a good sign either - you are overly -invested in someone you barely know.

I'd see how the second date went, and also use that date to suss out how he views dating and at what point does he usually become exclusive. Bearing in mind he might lie - for instance if he says he is already exclusive with you, then you will know that's a lie because of the time on the dating app. But then at least you'll know early doors that he is a liar and can bin him off.

I think I’m just overanalysing it - his texts aren’t really that different now I’ve taken a breath.

I haven’t over-texted (thank god) - just replied to his texts, and I have a few other dates lined up with different people.

I think I’ll see how the second date goes and go from there.

Thanks for all the advice everyone.

it is really hard this dating game! All you can do is wait it out, don’t chase and don’t over invest!

If you have other dates lined up then what is the problem with him being online whilst not responding to you? See how the second date goes and go from there! Online dating is so tough!