Please give me a virtual talking to!

[DrFoxtrot]

I need to vent on here so I don't look like an absolute weirdo in real life! I feel like I'm not thinking rationally.

I finally ended my 'non' relationship a month ago and we are still friends as we are both in the same in-laws friendship group. He withdrew affection, obviously was not that into me and we had only been together for 10 months. I persevered as he had other health issues that I was trying to be mindful of, and I also really liked him. I initially ended it in May, he came back asking to try again but nothing changed. So we finally finished a month ago.

I feel great, I'm free of this crappy relationship that was making me feel low and anxious and I can move on. But I noticed some of my Facebook timeline posts have altered (it's obvious as one is the most recent post on my timeline) and then found that he has untagged himself in everything to do with me. I am being completely ridiculous in thinking that he's now rewriting the past to erase the fact we were ever together. And that's probably a good thing really.

Why is it making me feel so shit? I don't want to be with him, I feel better and I'm looking forward to the future. Please virtual slap me into getting a grip! I don't want him but I don't want to be erased from memory either .

OK, seeing as no one else has, get a grip @DrFoxtrot. And while you’re there re-arrange that crown and be the Queen that you are (was that the kind of thing you were looking for?)

Anyways, you know you’ve done the best thing here by ending it. I wouldn’t let the tagging bother you too much, you have no control over that or if he is going to create a new narrative (he will, that’s his issue if he can’t cope with being dumped). Personally I would block if possible, I felt so much better when I did that when I finished a relationship and keep peeping because no one told me to get a grip

Admit it, this is just a dent to your ego really isn't it. And, to be fair, I think this would sting most people.
He's probably done this to either a) get back at you a little bit or b) has someone new and doesn't want them to see.
Whatever the reason, you know it doesn't really matter but your pride is slightly dented and you'll get over it.

Thank you both of you .

It really is stinging more than I thought it would, my pride is dented and I feel like I meant even less to him than I thought I might. I think he has someone new - the last time a previous partner did this, he had another girlfriend and obviously didn't want her to know about me. It makes me feel like something unmentionable to be brushed under the carpet.

They usually do have someone new quickly. It shows how pathetic they are let's face it. I'd take it a step further and unfriend him altogether. But then, the way I feel about men right now, I'm bitter.

I'm bitter too . I probably will unfriend him but I'm trying not to do anything rash yet, we are in a reasonably close family/ friendship group. I know it will all be ok in the end, I'm on friendly terms with a few ex boyfriends. I am considering leaving social media for a while to settle myself down.

I'm actually feeling a little better about it all now, it had really bruised my ego.

My ex of many years did that too. Some of my favourite photos just vanished. He told me it hurt him to look at them. So maybe that was the reason here, too.

I do feel a bit silly with the fact we were only together for 10 months and it was not great for most of that. I wasted my time and now I feel 'erased'. I'm now feeling 'how dare he' . I'm also tired and things are definitely worse when I'm tired.

I think for my ex, he is doing it for someone new. I've mentioned it to my DSis and said not to be surprised when she makes an appearance.

It’s not surprising you feel upset OP. Not because it was a life defining relationship or anything, but it’s not nice when somebody just rewrites you out of your own history. 10 months isn’t a long time in the great scheme of things but it looks big when you’re just at the end of it. It’s ok to feel sad and pissed off, it would be unnatural not to. You’ll probably feel a bit put out for a while then forget about it though, so don’t worry. You’re not going mad or being silly, you just need to let your emotions out a bit then it’ll probably disappear like a puff of smoke.

Thanks, you are right, I do feel like I've been written out, like a deleted film scene. With him being a friend originally, I didn't think he'd do this.

I don't think he's trying to rewrite anything, more than likely it's an emotional reaction to the situation or he's met someone.

In my experience when you don't hold anything against the person and aren't particularly phased by it ending it's neither here nor there if there's a trace of them on your social media. Unless, there is someone new and it's just out of respect for the new person.

I'm feeling ok, I think what I'm feeling is part of the process of emotionally untangling myself from him. Even though we weren't right together and I'm happier since it finished, I am still upset at the fact it didn't work out. I tried too hard to make it work from my side, I should have walked away much earlier.