How do I just end this!

[Rosstafur]

Long story short, I’ve been with my partner on and off for 6 years. He’s been abusive and controlling for the majority of the time. Including throwing a boiling kettle over me..

throughout this time he’s convinced me that I’m just as volatile, selfish and a narcissist who needs mh support (this is why he behaves this way).

I finally managed to end the relationship and we agreed to be friends. I’ve kept my distance and only really replied to messages he sends, I haven’t started any conversations with him.

Tonight I got the guilt trip, he’s messaged saying he may as well not be on this earth anymore. I took the bait and started being nice to him, making sure he was ok and that he felt supported. Only to have the night end in him absolutely tearing me apart verbally!

I can not honestly take any more of it, I’m scared of his reaction to me ending communication and scared of what he’ll do to himself! I’m sat here crying as I write this and just feel pathetic. Any advice would be appreciated..

Stay strong and don’t cave in, not for one second!

Well done - stay strong.
If you start to wobble then come on here and we can help to distract you!!!

Are you getting any real life support from a domestic violence support worker or similar?

Thank you guys! I’ve ignored all day and nothings happened! It’s gone quiet...

@rosevalentine I don’t, it’s my own fault. I’ve had so much support thrown at me in the past and I feel ridiculous for letting this continue. I just don’t feel able to open up to it all again, stupid as it sounds it makes me feel weak and that I need him when I open it all up!

I have a lot of friends and family to support me. Sometimes you just need to hear it from strangers to see how ridiculous the whole situation is!

Yeah, I had one of these. Took an od (allegedly) when I was displeased with him along with leaving jobs and all sorts.

20+ yrs on - he's still alive too.

If he kills himself, it will be down to him and not you. No one would hold you responsible.

You do need help. How can you possibly think this man is good for you. You owe him nothing. Get the hell away from him and block him on everything. He is using emotional blackmail now to reel you back. Be smart fgs

@WhoIsTheFairestOfThemAll The more people who say it. The more stupid I feel for falling for it! I’m so glad you left..

@Windmillwhirl That’s the point, I know he’s no good for me. I know he’s vile and won’t change.. I also know that I’m conditioned to normalise all this, to think it’s me. Men like this do not let go easy, believe me.
To you it makes perfect sense to just fuck him off? to me doing that could get me seriously hurt.. I’ve had to break up with him gradually over a year to get to where I am now. My own place, my own phone and money etc all he had left of me was messaging and phone calls.. but not anymore ;)