Possibly pregnant

[Squirrel99]

Hello, first time poster here.

I’m pretty certain that I’m pregnant. I will be taking a test to confirm next week, but in my head I feel like I know I am.

The thing is, the father is a separated (for over a year) but not divorced man.
He has said in the past when we had a scare that it would ruin everything with his divorce if I fell pregnant, so I’m really worried.

We’re in a secret relationship at the moment and don’t want to lose him, but if I am pregnant I don’t want to give up the baby.

Any advice?

No point in worrying about it until you know if you definitely are or not. Cross that bridge if you get to it. If all he's worried about is the divorce then it's normal not to announce it until a few months down the line so no reason ex wife will need to know anyway.

Just take a test OP you do not have to wait until a week after your period x

Take a test so that if you're not pregnant you won't have this worry. If you are, then maybe you really need to think about your options.

You will not know until you take a test. Try for First Response Early Results - they are the most sensitive (even if not the cheapest), so are more likely to be the most accurate.

Generally the advice I've seen on line from therapists about dating a separated man is to keep fairly low key about things to avoid angering the ex while they are sorting out legal stuff. Makes sense.
Regarding the possible pregnancy just take the test OP. If your period is late you can take one and at least then you will know. And if you are pregnant you can make a speedy decision about an abortion or keeping the baby.

If you don't want to get pregnant use contraception! Also, do you want to have a baby (life long commitment) with someone who wants to keep you a secret? Start of a long happy life that!

No need to wait a week after period, you can test a few days before missed period. Buy a few internet cheapies and an expensive one and just see what happens. If you’re pregnant I hope he supports you, I can see why he’d want to keep it a secret but you would still have 9 months for him for sort a divorce. Good luck.

So I took the test, it was negative!
Now I just need to decide how I feel about the previous partner still being an issue

My issue would be that he wants to keep you a secret. You deserve more x

Sorry to hear it’s negative, if pregnancy is what you wanted. Maybe use this as an opportunity to decide what it is you want in this relationship. Good luck.

Take your time on that.
There is no rush.
But it would be a deal-breaker for many and not for others.
Please get some contraception though.
You want to have a baby with the right person.
He may not be that person.

I hope you’re ok with the result.

Now you know, you have to decide what’s right for you. It might be a long and winded road if his ex is dragging her feet and tries to bleed him dry to the point he might reconsider his decision and even go back to her to avoid losing everything.

You really have to look after yourself and decide what’s best for you. Again I see why he wants to keep your relationship low key hoping he can get a painless settlement. I hope it works out for you both. Good luck x