Long story short. 29, been with partner for 9 years. Not married. No children. I would love to be married with children but the conversations haven’t arrived.
We’ve had our ups and downs but recently it’s been too many downs. He was unfaithful around 3 years ago, which he admitted to straight away. We moved on past that. I just find myself miserable and questioning if I am being treated fairly? I just feel like I am constantly belittled, even our friends tell me they wouldn’t put up with it. I try my absolute best to be a good partner, I do everything for him. All the housework. He wouldn’t know how to put the washing machine on and I can’t remember the last time he cooked. I know that this is my own doing.
The latest episode goes like this...
He went out last weekend, I said I would pick him up to save a taxi so off I went. He got in with his friend (both drunk) with takeaways. No problem. Dropped said friend off. Partner mentions he’s bought me a takeaway too. I said something along the lines of ‘aw thank you, but it’s 11pm and I’ve already had my tea.’ He blows up, winding the window down throwing the takeaway into the road. Tells me how ungrateful I am, how I’m a dickhead. We get home, we go inside and he throws something sentimental of mine into the outside bin (for reasons unknown.) I ask him what the problem is, he says the problem is me. Usually it’s me apologising, pandering to him so that we don’t have to carry on the argument for days. He never ever ever apologises even when it’s blatant he’s done wrong. I asked him last night if he’d like to talk, explain to me what made him so angry so that we can work it out. He repeatedly told me to leave him alone, so I did. Today he’s gone to bed at 4pm, presumably to avoid me. This won’t be resolved until I apologise but I honestly can’t see that I’ve done wrong?
The whole situation makes me ill and anxious constantly.
I suppose I’d just like an outside perspective, please. Is he being unreasonable or is it fair to be treated like this? Thanks in advance.