How to break up with a partner I have feelings for

[CanIhelpyouatall]

I met my partner OLD 6 months ago. I was looking for 'nothing serious' but got swept off my feet by his kindness, making me feel desired, him being so easy to be with. Knowing he didn't judge me and accepted me and has been there for me through some challenging times with my teens. The chemistry is amazing, he is everything I dreamed about sexually and I also don't feel embarrassed if I break wind during sex!! He has known the real me and still finds me sexy.

He isn't from the UK, only here to work and it looks like he will be leaving soon because of family issues. His own teens are going off the rails so he needs to be there for them.

I always knew this but he is going back soon for a family holiday and things feel different. It feels like we're both saying goodbye, squeezing each other a bit more tightly. I was initially happy to cherish him for however long we had together but lately I've been thinking it's best if we end things soon. Trouble is I can't imagine not messaging him to say 'good morning' and 'goodnight'. I don't know how we could just be friends as we can't keep our hands off each other.

We have talked about this and both agreed we would be too jealous of one of us started dating someone new. Not that I am interested. At my age I feel like I will never meet anyone like him again which is why it feels so hard to let go.

I said to him he should just behave like a bastard so I can be angry and move on quicker. I don't really want this to end on a sour note. Should I just go cold turkey now and cut all contact?

We mutually ended it last night. I am feeling rubbish. He thinks we can evolve into a friendship in time. He was everything I wanted.

At such an early stage in a relationship you will be overwhelmed by infatuation and the beginnings of love. But infatuation which is intoxicating can also be dangerous. It’s great for a period but then it must go forward into love so you move on to more sustainable and balanced emotions.

If you don’t you will be stuck in a punch drunk emotional state. That will make you vulnerable and unhappy. It may not be the case here, but it is a way some people keep you vulnerable and stupidly dependent.

There are red flags for you in this relationship. They may be deliberate or not on his part. He was never in a position to go in deep with you. He could easily have avoided that happening. His reasons for leaving are vague and non committal. By the sounds of it he may or may not be around. But he wants to keep you on a string. He is only committed to a holiday not a relocation.

The reason given is weird, “his teens are going off the rails”. First up why has he left his teens anyway. What parent does that for whatever reason. Think about it, because the parents I know sacrifice a lot to remain in their children’s lives. It shows feckless and emotionally distant behaviour in the one relationship that should be beyond doubt. That’s mirrored in how he treats you.

I am going to say he isn’t all you ever wanted. He is someone who stirred up emotions in you that feel great. But that won’t last if it doesn’t evolve to love.

Don’t be friends this will put you repeatedly back into this state with no hope of it going forward.

That he is so willing to go back and forth in his children’s lives tells you what he will do to you. It will be back and forth never progressing.

Before posters pick holes in the story to discredit "a man" have you got any commitments? cant you just go with him? it sounds like a holiday romance and the bubble always bursts but why not. Go with him. Or... yeah just go cold turkey.

He is over here for work, when he first relocated he initially believed his family would follow him. He didn't abandon his children. I don't want to elaborate on his teenage son's predicament.

It's not really a holiday romance situation as he has helped me out with decorating and we've done normal stuff. He hasn't wined and dined me, we've done stuff like shopping, cinema, visited places of historical interest.

And I can't relocate, my children live with me.

Is he separated from his partner. It sounds as if he is willing to let you go but you dont. If it was ever going to be more he would not let you go he would find some way of both of you being together.

Sadly, somewhere within you, you seem to have had hopes this would be 'more than fun', and he didn't.

The things you talk about are absolutely things that can happen with a casual relationship - not all are about one person using another in any way, and unless a relationship is fun, caring, and you connect, then there's no point to it anyway.

What keeps a relationship casual is the knowledge that for whatever reason, it is definitely going to end at some point. Maybe a defined date, or maybe just 'some point in the future', but inevitable. But that deep knowledge of the ending coming is what keeps your heart safe.

It sounds like he kept his heart safe that way, but sadly yours got a bit broken. The fastest way to heal is to cut him out of your life - don't be tempted to prolong the agony. I hope you feel better soon, OP x

Ah this can br found with another really easy, its just Lust and is a temporary fun emotion. He has his priorities and you had fun. Its because maybe you want more but you cant so move on. He didn't. So that is all it is.

@Christmasfluff Thanks for the kind words. I did know there would be an expiry date. I wasn't looking for a live in partner or marriage proposal but we both made each other happy.

@Scorpionvenus
It really wasn't a simple case of lust. I only wish it would be so easy to go out and find another bloke who could make me feel the way he did.