Feel guilty but want to leave relationship

[Emjayne96]

Hi,

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and a lot has happened which has made us drift apart from each other. We don’t go out together, we don’t spend time together and to be honest Its because I don’t really want to anymore. I feel like we’re more suited as friends and I really want to leave him.
I’ve tried but he always finds a way to guilt me, his mum died two years ago and he doesn’t really have any other family. The house is mine so he would have to leave as I would stay with the two children. I’ve thought about this for months and I feel I would be much happier if I was single as i hate being at home with him.
I just don’t know how to end it with him without him trying to convince me to try and make things work. I know in my heart it never will and I don’t want to waste my life trying to be happy when I’m not.

The guilt is a killer. It's your right to end a relationship if it's not working for you. No need to explain in lots of detail if you feel you'll be manipulated.

Remember, too, that you're not solely responsible for him. He also has to be an adult in this. I think you may need to gather all your strength to be resolute and unwavering.

Bear in mind that the guilt will ease, but I you stay with him the resentment and unhappiness will remain.

I feel your pain as in a similar-ish position. It’s the guilt. I feel like I need a “real reason” to leave rather than just being unhappy. No advice to offer as I can’t seem to follow it myself, but wanted to offer support as you are not alone.

OP I was once in your position with. We had been together 7years, had one Dc and a house. Like a pp poster said, I always felt like I needed a 'real reason' to leave. There was never an affair , no DV, anything like that. We had just grown apart and I hated being in the relationship.
I wanted to leave for so long but the guilt made me stay quite literally years longer than I should have. When I finally gathered up the courage to end it the guilt was horrendous I'll not lie. I felt guilty for a million reasons and it really was an incredibly tough few months/year.
However, I'm almost 3 years on from the end of that relationship and when I look back I wish I had left so much sooner. My life is so much better now. I'm happier and content and myself and ex actually get on and co parent very well.
Its temporary guilt and pain for long term happiness. Just remever that lifes so short, dont spend it unhappy OP