Lost my best friend

[unmumsymumof2]

Did anyone see the article on the daily mail ( sorry, I know, bored at work and needs must ) ...today about women loosing their best friend and it being compared to the grief you feel when going through a divorce?

Now I've never been through a divorce, not actually married yet but I had to say it really hit home.

My best friend, think since we were 11 years old, been through everything together, ups and downs with each other's lives, through having kids, her wedding, never even had a cross word between us, really thought we would never fall out, and for the past 3 months we haven't spoke due to a falling out, which wasn't actually a falling out, it kind of just spiralled to this and I don't know why.

I really miss my best friend. It's consumed my thoughts for a while now, what I've done wrong, what she's thinking, why isn't she bothered about our friendship. Did she never care as much as I did?

Not sure why I posted really, maybe just to see if anyone else has lost a friend and reconciled at a later date?

Would you feel up to approaching her, making the first move to try move beyond this? Or is it truly beyond saving?

Can you not text her?

Not really, we had a bit of a discussion about recent events & we felt a bit distant, to which I replied apologising and saying it's only because I'd felt hurt by some of her actions that I'd probably been a bit distant but it was only because I'd felt upset and she didn't reply.

I feel like I've explained how and why I've felt the way I did but it's fell on deaf ears.

She sent a breezy text the other day ( we hadn't spoken for three months at this point ) about another family members birthday and I replied thinking it may have been her offering an olive branch but she's since not replied again... I think I just need to accept our friendship is not going to be what it once was but I'm just sad about it

It's horrendous when a person walks away from friendship. With a relationship there's usually a break up, an opportunity to sort of grieve the end and move forward but when friends stop talking that doesn't always happen and it can leave you feeling so lost and powerless.
You sound like you made some great memories together and rest assured you will make strong deep friendships in the future but it will never be the same.
You seem to have tried everything but the ball is in her court now. For your on sanity and worth, I would try and focus on something else. If she choses to get back in touch - great but remember how easy she found to walk away this time.

I agree 100% that friendships are so much more valuable.

I've been through a divorce and I also lost my best friend since school to ovarian cancer. Losing my best friend was quite literally one hundred times harder to deal with. My divorce was through choice (in a way) and yes upsetting for all involved (me and the kids) but I worked through it reasonably well. When my friend died, I spiralled into a bit of a MH breakdown for several years. It wasn't until I got out of the black hole that I seen how much I had actually struggled - I had just thought I was muddling through.

I believe in soul mates. And that it doesn't need to be romantic to have that bond. I believe she my soulmate. My ExH was nothing even resembling it.

Try to jump over your shadow and send her a text or give her a call; she probably feels the same as you right now? You've known each other and been friends for too long to throw it all away in a whim.

My second piece of advice would be to stay off the Daily Mail; it's guaranteed to ruin your day, LOL.

You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying again. If it was me I’d send a bouquet of flowers through interflora with a simple message “Miss you. Love you xxx” I did that in similar circumstances. It didn’t work for me but I don’t have any regrets as I know I tried. It also helped me close it off because I knew that I’d extended a an olive branch.

I know how it feels, I was best friends with someone for 11 years, we then had a falling out and our friendship ended. This was over a year ago and it really felt like a bad break up or a divorce. We still see eachother from time to time now and we can do polite conversation but I don't think we'll ever be what we used to be. Part of me knows it's for the best, she wasn't always a great friend but it still hurts because we were so close for so long

My best friend had a brain injury last year, quiet suddenly and is not the same person since. I'm heart broken as she doesn't remember anything about our relationship.
She looked at me one day and said I know I'm supposed to know you but I don't, but I do like you. 😢 It broke my heart.