Feeling "touched out"

[miniaturelocomotive]

Is it normal to feel like this?

I have two young children and, after a week with their Dad, they're wanting and needing a lot more love and affection. My youngest DD keeps coming in to my bed in the night and wants to be cuddled (I'm working on it). I'm finding that when my DP touches me (affectionately) I feel sort of irritated and like I just don't want to be touched and want some personal space. I'm back at work today after annual leave and it's so nice to sit on my own at lunchtime and not have any demands made of me and to feel like an individual person. I love my DP and I'm attracted to him. It's not that I don't want to touch him. I just sometimes feel like I want everyone to leave me alone for a while and give me some physical space. I think it's been made worse my DD2 coming in to bed and her cuddling me even when I'm sleeping.

Is this normal? Do you ever feel all "touched out"?

yup

100% normal. You can really reduce/refuse your children’s needs so I’d be honest with your DP and work on a way to carve out some alone time. We all need it!

*cant really!

You can't crave human touch when all day humans are touching you. You need some grown up alone time to reset yourself without his expectation of sex hanging over you. Get a regular hobby that is just for you.

You are right. And I do normally have some time to myself doing things for just me, but with going on holiday I haven't done my usual activities and the DC coming back needier than ever (which is understandable and fine in itself) has made me want everyone to go away and leave me alone. To be fair to DP, him touching me hasn't been with the expectation of sex, even just cuddling me in bed I've wanted to shout "get off, get off, get off!" It feels suffocating but I know it's not him suffocating me. I only realised that this could be the reason for my irritation this morning and I mentioned it to him and he understood and thanked me for pointing it out to him (he doesn't have DC of his own so he wouldn't have experienced this).

Totally normal. Sometimes I could scream because everyone wants something from me all day, every day. It’s constant!

Yep. Only really noticed it with dc2 as it’s now two children touching me.

Luckily my dh gets it.

Yep. Felt the same when my kids were very young, especially at the breastfeeding stage.

Yep. I feel like this a lot. My DD is 2 going in 3 and very tactile. There are some days when I just can't bear the though of anything else touching me. It's completely normal.

Also hearing "Mummy?" constantly. As much as I love them, why does every request to speak to me have to be a question?! I want to tell DP to not speak to me, touch me or look at me for 3 hours after the DC have gone to sleep. I think that would be unreasonable. He has offered to get them to bed for me while I go for a walk on my own though.

If that's what you need, then why not tell him. Doesn't sound that unreasonable.

I very often take the dog out for some quiet time once DD is in bed. I just need a couple of hours to decompress and not be touched or spoken too because like you say after a day of 'mummy, mummy, mummy' silence really is golden.

Tell your DH what you need, it's not unreasonable at all.

Yes it's normal. It's just the precursor to D. Not exactly unusual in any way. Don't worry about it.

Yes with DC I often find that after they’re in bed I just want my own space and when my DH wants a cuddle or my cat wants to sit with me I just want to move away.

Yep! My older boys leans on me argh!

DP tried to cuddle me while i’m Breastfeeding argh! GET OFF!

All the time

Oh yes, DD2 is a leaner! Just bloody get off!

It gets better as they get older. They'll be so preoccupied with their mates that you'll miss those cuddles.

Oh yes I need my own space - my 10 year old needs hugs lots sometimes. It drives me crazy at times. It’s also sweet but I’m happy when he goes to his Dads for a few days.😀

I was like this for about 3 years with DH after DC. I could hardly look at him without feeling annoyed or repulsed. It's better than it was now. But being on my own is my favourite thing.

Yes. I remember it very well. After putting kids to bed the idea of DH getting amorous or even wanting a hug/kiss filled me with dread.
Whole day of touching,pulling,scratching,hugging,bfing...

What age were your DC when you found it got better? Mine are 3 and 5.

Totally normal. My youngest is known as the Space Invader, he’s adorable but I can barely breathe sometimes, he’s ALWAYS touching me in one way or another.
You’re half way through the school holidays so I think most people are probably feeling like this.