I told him how many people I slept with ...and I think it's put him off me,what now?

[dererer]

I met a guy and we have been dating but not officially a couple just casual really.
I'm 35 and I've only slept with 4 people.
I told him I only sleep with people I really like and see something more developing.
He said he was shocked I only slept with 4 and got a bit freaked out.
What do I do now?
I wasn't going to lie and add loads on.
He couldn't remember how many he had slept with.

Probably is not used to someone who sleeps with anything in trousers.

@justasking111

pmsl!

One guy I dated told me (don't know why he would tell me this tbh) he had slept with a 1000 women. I replied am 1001 then? I didn't get to be 1001 because we sort of went off each other after that ...

If he’s the kind of guy to get put off by something like that then to answer your question, you do nothing next! Forget him and look for someone more mature

His reaction speaks volumes about him and has precisely nothing to do with you and your relationship history,

Sounds very shallow

Stupid man, four previous sexual relationships is fine. He probably feels a bit in awe of you because he is somewhat grubby and you are not, but he'll get over.

Sounds like a reasonable number to me!

Maybe he only wants a shag so was put off by what you said? Being a virgin at 35 could make people wonder but 4 is a normal number.

No number is “ normal” - that implies a higher number is not therefore normal. I wonder if he’s put off because he feels you’re more serious about him than he is of you ( at the moment). I don’t know why you were discussing this as a subject matter actually.. it’s absolutely no-ones business and you’re finding out the complications from revealing this information

I'd be wary. My ex threw my previous partners in my face, even ranting that I'd had a one night stand t 19! (I'm 50 now)
The point is what you did, or didn't do before him is non of his business. What's important is the now x

What? When I read the title I thought there was going to be a ridiculously high number.

I wonder of he was embarrassed about his being much higher?

I don't see this being a negative. You're absolutely right to only sleep with people you really like. I thought men liked that in a woman - I'm no expert.

Is he definitely put off? Have you spoke to him since?

In future I wouldn't reveal that information. Its no ones business but yours. I haven't got a scooby how many people my partner has slept with and vice versa.

If it's just casual could he maybe have felt your comment came across a bit heavy handed so he's cooling a little in case you are more into it than him?

I agree with a PP, he's after a shag and doesn't like the fact that you only sleep with people you're really serious about. You don't sound compatible, I'd get rid of him.

Maybe it has put him off because he was looking for an easy shag and has realised you have higher standards than that.

I'd rather a partner who had been intimate with very few people who were special to them than couldn't remember how many because they slept with anyone who said yes..... Sounds like he's not worth the time.

I don't understand people who share information like this. What is the point of it ?

I find if you don’t tell the number
People assume it’s because it’s loads and you’ve lost count or ashamed.

No number is “ normal” - that implies a higher number is not therefore normal.

Well, I'm not saying 100 is abnormal but a number that high or 0 at 35 are more likely to put somebody off than 4 or 10.

What do you mean a bit 'freaked out'? Was he just surprised?
To be honest if this puts him off then it's a very good filter for pricks!

@AnyFucker

I think men think it will impress you because they have all this sexual experience. What it actually does is make you think whether or not you need to visit a STD clinic.

A man asking me that question = instant passion killer so there'd be no relationship anyway.

I don’t think it’s the number but rather the context. Maybe he doesn’t see it developing further?

Maybe he was worried you'll expect him to propose if you consider him a serious enough candidate to have sex with?

On a more serious note - most people (to my knowledge) don't talk about the number of people they have/haven't slept with. It's generally a hiding to nothing. My friend who emigrated to a US 'party city' many years ago, stated the common approach there is to both get tested for STIs and show each other the paperwork if you're in a serious relationship and want to embark on sex without condoms (withstanding alternative contraception). Seemed like a very sensible discussion/method between consenting adults to me. Anyone can tell you any old bullshit otherwise and expect you to take it as gospel.