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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Grief after three months

4 replies

Imjustsolost · 12/08/2019 16:09

Hi. Sorry if this ends up all over the place. Was with my DP for 9 years and have one DC who is 7. We split up 3 months ago. I was grand until the last two weeks, adrenaline keeping me going maybe and now I’m in bits! Signed off work last week and this week I’m physically sick and I’m bits. I feel so lost and my life is f*cked up. Never thought I’d be 30 and still living at home in a job through an agency. Never changed and was paranoid (with no reason ever to be from me) and after we broke up he’s changed. Is doing all the things I asked him to, going out with friends, going to the gym etc as he never did that when together. I’m just hurting soo much for the future I had looking forward to, another baby I’d have loved (and now I feel old sad ) sorry I’m going on. We were always arguing near the end when he was moody etc. he used to smoke (not cigarettes) and has given up since and seems better. I feel so lost and broke and just can’t think straight my heads going to explode Confused

OP posts:
Imjustsolost · 12/08/2019 19:04

Bump Sad

OP posts:
Keepingthingsinteresting · 12/08/2019 19:17

So sorry you’re struggling. I’m sure someone will be along soon who can be more use, but in the meantime give yourself a break- this is really tough, it you will get through it

Cherryade8 · 12/08/2019 19:25

Sorry this has happened to you OP Flowers it is hard, you have to let yourself grieve but also focus on how you can make your life great without him! You're still very young, plenty of time to build a career, move to your own place, meet a great man, have more dc if you want to!

If your ex was smoking and argumentative then remind yourself on his bad points, sometimes it's easy to romanticize a man who may not be your best option.

crappyday2018 · 12/08/2019 19:25

So who ended the relationship?
Its normal for it to hit you later one. I was in a 17 year relationship that ended (now over 2 years ago) and I went through some really dark times after a few weeks. It did feel like grief. Its not nice but its something you have to go through and you will come out of the other end.
Try not to focus on him and what he's doing. He's a typical man who will now make the effort because he's single, its what they do.
You need to focus on YOU now. Be kind to yourself and time will heal this. You will be happy again soon Flowers

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