He wont talk

[user1499288566]

Has anyone been with someone who just cannot talk or communicate feelings ,and normally end up kicking off when you try

Well we started to have a conversation today on phone and it ended up with him saying fuck you and hanging up ,so yeah same as always ,good times

we started to have a conversation today on phone and it ended up with him saying fuck you and hanging up

He hates you. So what are you going to do about it?

Before you make a decision think about how the conversations go.

Do you start sentences with “You”? As in “You do this” or “You make me feel like”? Often people take a defensive stance to this.

Try things that start with “I”. “I feel alone in the relationship because we don’t communicate”.

If you’ve tried the “I” method with no success, maybe couples therapy or move on.

Yup. It's literally breaking me to pieces. He refuses counselling and I'm loosing the will to keep on putting up with this shit.

Sorry didn't realise I'd already replied. But I don't know why they are like it. Possibly parents didn't show emotion

I’ve got one who is the other way, constantly emotional, but cannot take anything that deviates from his view without thinking I am having a go or criticising and I am not a critical person at all. We only have to watch a film and say the lead guy does something stupid and I comment on it, H will then say ‘I don’t do that, I’ve never xxxx’ in a way that implies I think he is the same. Bloody weird, he seems to have to bring himself up and compare all the time.

Today was another low, broke down crying, we agreed to try talk weekend, but I think I already know how that will go, why dont I just let go ,why do I carry on, maybe I just an ass n stupid I dunno

Yea lasted about 3 months max :D

Why are you doing this to yourself OP?
Just end it and be happier.
Life is short.
You get one shot at it.
Don't waste it on this knob-head!

Yes I had this. He would 'throw fucks' into me if he ever felt attacked (verbally) which was every time my opinion differed to his. We are divorcing now.

I divorced a man like this a few years ago. We'd been together 20 years. I couldn't take any more. Good luck.

It really is hard to let go I was with mine for 11 years and the last 4 years really tried to make it work.
I'd spent so long just living with it and then when I started pushing back, saying I wasn't happy. Made everything so much worse and in the end I had no choice but to leave.
Don't put yourself through anymore, no one should be saying 'fuck you' when you are simply just trying to have a conversation, it's not right.

People repeat the behaviour patterns they were shown growing up.

Many men, in particular, are taught that men don't show emotion. This is why men need feminism.

Some of these men, for sure, are not looking for a relationship. They just want the convenience of shared bills and housework, and sex on tap. You making "demands" on them is an irritating downside which they will shut down as soon as possible, by any means necessary.

Anyone get the silent treatment?

Cherry it's call stonewalling abuse - google it.
It's a horrible thing to do.

Yes, walked away. To use a non technical term it does your head in

How did you all feel, as in your mental state? I feel like I dont know which way is up anymore, what I want how I feel, nothing, so I dont know how to help myself when I cannot get my thoughts together, he is due home today after week away ,I'm dreading it .I know I'm going to be miserable, I'm not going to be loving, as that is last thing on my mind , what am I doing

Well we started to have a conversation today on phone and it ended up with him saying fuck you and hanging up

Right, enough of this. Stop let him treat you like crap. It's damaging your self esteem which is why you're questioning why it's your fault, desperately trying to paper over the cracks and walking on eggshells.

Just stop it. He's a selfish arse and verbally abusive too. Do you really want to be feeling like this for the next 2, 5 10 years? Because he won't change.

But you can change your life. Ditch this emotional vacuum and I promise you'll be much happier. Don't waste any more time trying to 'talk' to someone who cannot and does not want to communicate with you and who turns everything back on you.

Please take control of your life from today.

Can you stay with family/friends for the weekend instead? You don't HAVE to spend time with him at all, especially if he says 'Fuck you'.

You don't owe him anything. Cut yourself free.

What am I doing?
You are allowing him to abuse you.
That is what you are doing.
You are allowing him to mess with your mental health.
You are allowing him to suck the fun out of you.
You are allowing him to lower your self-esteem.
You are allowing him to change who you are.
You are allowing him to let you lose yourself.

STOP SABOTAGING YOUR OWN LIFE.
Get away somewhere for the weekend.
Don't be there when he gets back.
You say I'm dreading it .I know I'm going to be miserable WTF would you do this to yourself?
Stop analysing. Stop trying to understand it.
You KNOW it's not working for you.
You KNOW he is abusing you.
You KNOW you are unhappy.
Only YOU can change that.
Get away and do it today.

Hellsbellsmelon is totally correct. I second that!!

I too valued the relationship and the impact it may have on people I love but to make any relationship work. 'You' yes OP YOU have to be happy. What's in it for you atm??

One of my best friends said to me @ 2nd yr of the relationship' 'are you happy?' Don't dwell on the past how long you've had... what about how many more years you can have with someone that truly appreciate you. Treat you with respect and love??
Anyway I tried and tried... did everything to keep peace... lost my self respect... got emotionally abused (without realising) was after 8 yrs I finally left. Don't waste time!!!

You will feel torn, take the 1st step...
You have a son, what if he treats a future girl like how ur being treated??
Bring up a gentleman, someone you're proud of.

Fast forward 10 yrs. I have been with my DH for 9 yrs, he treats me well, with respect, loves me and we have a great laugh!! 2 DCs, Hope you find peace and happiness x

Well it's over, he left today, it started with one of his moods where he keeps dismissing me, shutting me down when I tried to talk. Just couldn't take anymore ,its upset me and iv cried lots since he left ,but I know it couldn't carry on