Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I right to feel guilty?

7 replies

OneTimeMomma · 12/08/2019 15:25

This is a rant - probably a long one. Me and my OH have been together nearly 2 years. Last year we moved into our home together, 4bed so his 2 children from a previous relationship could have their own rooms when they stay with us. He then lost his driving license a month later which caused him to lose his job. I was supportive and paid for everything in and for the house and his other children. 11months later I am STILL paying for everything, still the one to do all the cleaning and cooking and running around after the children. He's a fully qualified electrician and instead he labours for his grandad for £50 a day. He says that it's because his grandad doesnt have another source of income and cant do it by himself. Now at first I didn't mind this - he's getting a bit of cash and helping family whilst he gets back in his feet but now the jobs have turned wether dependent and he only works 2/3 days a week and doesnt help me with the bills at all.

I am now 7 months pregnant. I cant cope with his immaturity. He wont cook, he wont clean and expects me to pick him up, drop him off, go and get his kids when I'm meant to be on holiday. I dont get any time for myself! I'm constantly running around after him and his family - not mentioning I work full time and have a part time job on top just to try and keep us even!

How am I meant to cope when I go on maternity leave!?

I love his children a lot and they've been through a lot over this past year. I feel so guilty because every single day i think about breaking up with him but it's not fair on them.

I dont know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Hairydogmummy · 12/08/2019 15:40

He's really putting on you. That's massively unfair. You can't carry on like that and shouldn't feel guilty at all. Give him an ultimatum!

OliveToboogie · 12/08/2019 15:44

He is turning into cocklodger not a nice quality. Time to have a serious word, this situ cannot continue, you will start to really resent him.

crappyday2018 · 12/08/2019 15:47

Wow OP he is really taking the piss here. To be honest, you are letting him. How did he lose his licence? I'm going to assume it was his own fault but looks like you are paying the price.
HE is the one not being fair on his children, not you. Why are you shouldering all the guilt here when all you are doing is.... everything.
Sorry but you need to tell him to get a proper job and start helping around the house or he's out on his ear. I mean, would you even miss him? He doesn't contribute financially or around the house.

hellsbellsmelons · 12/08/2019 16:00

It might not be fair on them OP but that is HIS lookout.
They are HIS DC.
It's also not fair on you.
It's ultimatum time or he can fuck off.
Did you buy the house together?
If so then it's time to sell and separate.
You do NOT have to put up with this.
Why the hell would you?
Life is way too short.
He needs to take some responsibility for himself and for the house you share.
Why is it your job to cook and clean?
Because you are a woman?
He's a sexist pig.
How the hell have you let him get away with this for so long?
He brings literally, nothing to the table.
Time he got his feet out from under it.
Time to bin him off and concentrate on yourself.

Ariela · 12/08/2019 16:04

If he's an electrician and qualified - set him up locally with jobs off Facebook, our local FB pages always have 'can anyone recommend me an electrician' posts - there's a shortage and should all be in walking distance., get him a trolley workbag and no excuse!

Summerunderway · 12/08/2019 16:08

Yanbu to suggest his granddad needs a lodger and help him pack...

housewifeoflittleitaly · 12/08/2019 16:11

Ok I felt sorry for you until you said you got pregnant to this idiot. Made your bed....

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread