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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My best friend, how do I support him?

3 replies

mybestfriend123 · 12/08/2019 15:08

My best friend since I was at school is going through a hard time. To everyone else he seems to a " jack the lad" but I know he's not like that.

His family are lovely, however have defiantly had their troubles. When we was younger he tried to kill himself ( it felt like it was out of no where to the majority of our friendship group and he was clearly embarrassed after it happened) at the time we was 18.

I was at sixth forum, fuming with him as he had borrowed my book with my coursework in to copy .. I called him non stop, he had already forgotten to meet me to walk to sixth form and now he was going to get me in trouble. That's when his mum answered his phone and was sobbing her heart out down the phone to me. She was besides herself and known of us had any idea.

Over the years we grew up at a distance, although we always knew we would be there for one another.

Last night i received a text from him, just saying my name.

I instantly knew something wasn't right and tried to call him what felt like hundreds of times.

Eventually I got through to him and met up with him. He looked tired, not groomed as he always did, he was sobbing his heart out and told me he couldn't get off the drugs. He badly wanted to but he just couldn't. He doesn't understand why his friends can stop after a night out but he just simply can't.

He's lost his job, now he's at home doing cocaine, pills, weed and other drugs on his own. He spent £300 on drugs since Friday.

I honestly wish I could help him but I have no idea how. He seemed like he had everything together and now I've found out he's addicted to cocaine and seen him looking completely different to how he did only a matter of weeks ago.

He didn't even look remotely the same person. This is a 23 year old sobbing in my arms. How do I help him? As a friend?

OP posts:
Coffeeandchocolate9 · 12/08/2019 15:12

Oh gosh. Didn't want to read and run but don't have any experience to offer advice.

Google and give him a list of helpline numbers?

mybestfriend123 · 12/08/2019 15:26

@Coffeeandchocolate9

Thank you, he's already got them. Practically - I deal with this a lot in my job. He's getting the right help, he's got line numbers, he's being referred for therapy etc.

It's more the emotional support, as a friend what do I do. I'm not sure if I should message every day or once in a while or if I'll just come across like a nag.

It's so hard because he really has a heart of gold, he's just totally got caught up in the wrong crowd / always in the wrong place at wrong time x

OP posts:
Coffeeandchocolate9 · 12/08/2019 17:19

I think keep in touch. Not nagging (have you come off them yet well have you huh huh huh?) but light cat memes, hi how are you today, or stuff you would have talked about previously. Be a presence that reminds him somebody cares and what life without drugs looks like. X

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