Is this a red flag? I'm the bully?

[Kumali]

Bf will never ever apologise. If I call him out over his behaviour, he tells me that I've pushed his buttons, I'm a drama queen and am just bullying him. He says that I'm just wanting to pick fights for my own benefit and won't ever accept anything he has done is out of order ie its my problem not his.

I've told him I'm unhappy over something he called me today, apparently its not a big deal, I'm a liar and now he's done a runner saying I'm bullying him and he's no outlet for me pushing his buttons. Stupid thing is I know I haven't.

Is this a pattern of behaviour? Could he be gaslighting you?

My ex smashed up our home, threatened to put ds through a window because apparently I pushed him to the edge.
At 27 ds still needs anger management.
He hasn't seen him for over 20 years...
Get out now before your mh is damaged.
Or you, physically op.

My dh is like this.He actually admitted the anger problem today. Maybe you could discuss some joint counselling or anger management?

Been with my DP for 11 years. Never once has he ever called a name. He is projecting on to you. He is the bully. Leave.

This is a characteristic of narcissistic personality disorder which leads to emotional abuse and controlling behaviour. When you say 'done a runner' do you mean he's ended it or even giving you the silent treatment? Another classic symptom.

I found this article mirrored by own experience of it to a tee...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-49022703

Definite red flag.

It's not you. It's him. Your reading of the situation is correct, imo, and I think it's worth trusting yourself fully on this.

Bollocks he needs anger management. The thing you need to pay attention to is “you push my buttons”. This neat phrase, along with you being abusive apparently, is the reason why men find themselves “losing control”, followed by “you made me do it”.

Unless your boyfriend has an angry personality all the time, he’s bullying you and busy grinding you down so you stop even this farce of explaining normal human courtesies. This too, where you explain basic respect, is a huge red flag.

Anger management is only for people whose rage is so out of control that they cannot control themselves at all. They are angry with everyone and it shows.

Charming men outside the home who tell their partners you push my buttons and are vile when no one else is there are totally different. You will know the difference.

Why are you with one another?

do you have kids. can you easily move out and live somewhere else.

Sounds a bit like my mother. She'll say hurtful stuff, then present a blank wall and refuse to let me respond/ defend myself. She'll invariably accuse me of picking fights and enjoying conflict when all I'm trying to do is deny the horrible thing she's just said. "I'm not like you - I don't take pleasure in fighting and causing rows" is one of her favourites, when she'll have started it by attacking my parenting skills or running me down in some other way.

Being in any kind of relationship with someone who won't apologise is soul-destroying. If you have the choice, get away now.