Why do I push nice people away?

[User2000019]

After one or two dates if someone is nice to me I completely shut down and come up with a reason why they’re not quite good enough.

Why do I do this and how can I stop it? I have had therapy before but it’s expensive so not something I can do at the moment. Is there an easy answer?

There is probably a lot more to it than they are too nice.

Were you sexually attracted to them?
Was there chemistry?
Did they make you laugh?
Were they easy to talk to?

The nicest guys in the world can still be boring/moody/tight/repetitive/unsexy etc

A few I have been attracted to but just write them off if it doesn’t feel really right. Then the nicer they are the less interested I am

If you’re used to being in volatile relationships with someone blowing hot and cold on you, then someone who is safe and stable can feel ‘boring’. It isn’t boring, it’s kindness and consistency that you aren’t used to. Don’t mistake butterflies in the stomach for nerves.

You can't force feelings for someone though. I have just posted a similar thread about exactly that.
Maybe these guys just haven't been right, for one reason and another but you are assuming its connected with them being 'nice'.

Look up avoidant attachment style. I'm the same and this makes sense of it for me

Sometimes when a man or women is too keen it can be off putting as it seems a little desperate.

If they were hilarious, interesting and really fucking sexy and also quite 'keen' I bet you would like them more.

Maybe they aren't hilarious, interesting and really sexy? (in your eyes)