What would you say, think, feel?

[TheAndromedaStrain]

If you had a severely compromised immune system due to having no spleen and cancer, and your DH saw nothing wrong in opening a drawer where the tea towels and dishcloths were kept to get a new bin liner, straight after he had cleaned the cat litter tray and before he washed his hands, "because he was going to be really careful and only use his little finger"....what would you say....think....feel?

Sorry you are having such a rough time healthwise.

Your DH is being v insensitive.

Focus on yourself - is there any support you can access? You deserve some help to get through this period in your life.

Tbh I don't think anyone could answer that unless they'd had those health risks themselves. I tend to think that huge numbers of MNers are ludicrously germ-phobic. Obviously for someone with a weakened immune system it must be completely different, but I have no concept of exactly how careful you'd have to be, or whether the example you've given is really much of a risk. It must be really hard though.

I might be annoyed but would also get why he was risking it during a lazy moment. I would say 'please dont chance it in future as its not your health at risk, it is mine and I'm not OK with your gamble'.

But tbh if you have a cat, it uses its liter tray then jumps all over everything anyway so...

That's a good point Pink.

That it's not the best place to keep bin-liners and to move them elsewhere.

Sorry, that was bit facetious, but having them in with things you want to keep hygienic isn't the most practical, it means washing your hands in the middle of jobs - ie take out bin-liner, wash hands, put in new bin-liner, wash hands.

for your health issues.

It sounds like something many people would do in an unthinking moment, and then attempt to defend when pulled up on it.

Maybe he thinks that some of the hygiene rules are unnecessary, or over-cautious, given that you do have a cat.

Must be difficult for you. Maybe your Dh just had a brain freeze and didn't think. Only you will know if it's a one off or selfish irresponsible behaviour.

I'd get rid of the cat .

I think if your immune system is this compromised just rehouse the cat.

I wouldn’t have a cat if my immune system was that compromised.

If coming into contact with germs from cat litter is going to put your health at risk then you need to get rid of the cat.

I think it's excessive to say she should get rid of the cat, when with sensible hygiene practices it should be safe. She probably loves the cat. There's such a thing as quality of life.

Thank you for the responses and for the good wishes and flowers - all appreciated.

I won't be getting rid of my cat, she is old, very loving and has been a cuddly rock when I've been going through my worst times with my health.

I am very careful about hygiene with her. Her bedding is changed daily, her litter tray also emptied and scrubbed daily, our home is also kept very clean. The poster who suggested keeping the bin liners elsewhere has made a good point and they have now been moved to the cupboard under the sink, but I was (am) struggling with the concept that he thought opening a drawer - in fact touching ANYTHING, without washing his hands was acceptable. There are rubber gloves available that I keep specifically for the litter tray cleaning, which he refuses to use, that's OK, his choice of course, but I do think washing hands before touching anything else is just basic hygiene in any home, let alone one with someone immune-compromised.

We have a similar issue. If i had my own way, I would get my in laws to keep her she is such hard work and my dh just doesn't get that the stress from the cat makes my pain worse. I'm not getting anymore afterwards.
Can you ask any relatives to look after it when you Have your bad days/weeks??

Thatsalovelycuppatea I'm sorry to hear you are in pain. I hope things improve for you. I'm not in any great pain thankfully, but I am susceptible to infection, so knowing my DH is capable of putting me at risk and not seeing the issue with it, does cause me stress. The cat, however, causes me no stress, I love her, she's been a source of great joy in the 15 years she has lived with us, and a source of great comfort since I was diagnosed with cancer

But seriously, there's cat bum germs everywhere?
Like, they lick their ass, and then lick their fur, and then you pet them....
Do you both wash your hands after you pet the cat? Every time?

Like, I love animals. I have had dogs ( now singular dog) and he smells, ( old) but I adore him.

I'm so sorry that you're having health troubles, but I'm wondering if there's something else you're upset with your dh over?