Happy and sad stories, after splitting and getting back together

[DaisyD22]

Do you know any couples when people in a long term relationship split, got back together and made it work for good, long term, despite obvious differences and difficulties? And are genuinely happy?
What made it work?
Or what was that final breaking point, when they realised it's really better to finish it for good?
Maybe your personal experience?
Was it worth it?
I really am struggling emotionally so need perspective.

My mum and dad split for a year in their early 20's after a major argument. Mum went travelling, Dad got with another woman. 1 year later, he wrote to her saying he missed her etc. When she came home, they got back together and lived together rather happily for 30 years until she passed.

Not the best of examples as I don't know how they felt at the time, but a success story nonetheless.

Never done it and never would, it's my belief that when you split it's for a reason or series of reasons and that reason will not leave just manifest itself again and again. I've know a few friends to get back with ex's and none have ever worked out for exactly what I just said. Even my mum and dad contemplated getting back together after my mum left my dad 15 years ago my mum was doing it strictly for financial reasons and she realised that was why she got with him in first place and that was why she was miserable for 20 years.

I'm not saying it can never work, but I've not known it to work.

Dh and I split 6 weeks before we were due to get married. I had specifically said I didn’t want a big wedding as I’m really shy but dh said we had to do one for the sake of his parents. We got back together a year later, had the awful bloody wedding, had 2 wonderful dc. 7 years down the line and we barely speak to each other, dh can’t stand to be in the same room as me and we haven’t had sex for 3 years.

I have an impression that it was easier for people to make it work year ago, just different generations and different world, values. Nowadays people move on faster. Unless they are weird idealists, like me

*years ago
DoesThisLookRight I am sorry to hear that.
Surely it's not a way to live...? Are you planning on changing things?

daisy difficult atm due to being in the middle of a long and complicated house move. Once that’s done then I’m hoping he’ll leave.

OH and I split after an argument. He moved out and got a place of his own. Got back together after a few months. Now married for nearly a decade and have DD. We're happy

Currently in a very similar situation, I won’t call it a success story as it’s still early days but I still have some perspective to pass on.

People like to apply black and white statements to scenarios like this, but personally I think every relationship and scenario is completely different. There will always be a story about how it went horribly for one couple, and another story about the couple who ended up happily married. I guess you just have to think: Why did you split up? Has anything changed? Has it been addressed?

Only you will know if this is right. Take it slow and listen to your gut, be completely open with each other, and if you can afford it I’d recommend relationship counselling to guide you through. Don’t bury your head in the sand, face it all head on.

Also the fact is, no relationship is ever guaranteed or full proof 🤷🏼‍♀️ That’s just the truth of it. So it’s down to you to decide if you want to risk it and take that leap of faith for a 2nd time, but I think you have to believe things have changed in order to be able to do that.

Me! My partner and I got together quite young, got married quite young and started trying for children. After several attempts we were at each other's throats and decided to go our separate ways. Fast forward a year and we met again by chance and have been inseparable ever since. I think we both needed the breathing space to grow up a little.

It might not be for everyone but it's worked fine for us, we now have a house and a daughter and couldn't be happier.

When I was at school I had a friend whose parents seperated for about 5 or 6 years then got back together and they are still together now around 15 years later. I don't know the details but it seemed to be a pretty amicable split.the dad lived just around the corner and came round almost everyday to see the children so there was a lot of contact between him and the wife which I guess caused them to sort out their problems.