Me and my wife have been together for 19 years and married for 15. We started dating when i was 17 and ahe was 16. We were each others 1st love.
We have 3 kids 12,10 and 4. I work full time and wife works part time.
3 months ago wife told me she wanted to separate as she only sees me as a friend. I knew there were problems but didnt realise the extent that she would end up leaving me. We have never had an active sex life ( about 10 times a year - both have low sex drives) and intimacy had died down to just a peck and thats it. I wanted to fight for our marriage but wife was adamant she wanted to split - 100% no other person involved
We tried living in same house but i just couldnt cope and ended up in a mental hospital for a month. When i came out wife had moved into her mums with the kids and i have moved back to the family home.
We have talked and she says i am perfect in everyway apart from she doesnt find me attractive and therefore does not want to have sex with me. I want us to try and save our marriage (counselling etc) and she is open to the idea but is worried incase her feelings do not change and i suffer another breakdown and end up in mental hospital again. She is also on housing waiting list and applied for unniversal credit and is worried if she decides to try with us again then she will have to start again with the applications etc. Friends have told her she has gone this far and she cant turn back now
I love her in everyway but she just doesnt find me attractive. Since the split i have lost 2 stone by joining gym (still chubby but getting there). I have took more care in my appearance - clothes, hair aftershave etc but she said her feelings have not changed one bit since we split. She said she doesnt look at men and has no interest in getting with another man for at lesst 5 years as she wants to put our kids first.
We spoke yesterday and she just said there is no spark there. How can we get that spark back