Advice on how to deal with unwanted attention

[drsleep1]

I know pervy men are unfortunately a part of life, but I'm not talking about the wolf whistling builders.

What does one do when they are getting unwanted attention from someone in a professional environment? Say it started off friendly and innocent, but gradually became a little bit weird, but not weird enough to warrant a meeting with HR.

Things this man does that make me uncomfortable:

1. Stands really close to me, I back away as I need personal space and he moves forward (not sure if this is intentional or he has spacial awareness issues)

2 compliments my clothes, almost every time I see him. If I'm wearing a dress he will say something about the design and look really obviously at my legs

1. Compliments my jewellery, and even touches my necklace
2. Calls me nicknames (like miss cutie)
3. Texts me at weekends asking for selfies (which I do not send)
4. Sends xxx on texts
5. Texts me every day telling me to have a nice commute to work
6. Nudges me and touches me when making jokes
7. Calls me to come and help him for any trivial thing at work

I should add he's over 30 years older than me.

Looking at it written down it sounds really bad. I feel uncomfortable about it, but don't want to create an awkward environment at work if he's just being friendly but has problems understanding boundaries. I've stopped replying to his texts but he keeps sending me messages regardless.

Advice please?

You could be blunt and say "Did you know you are the same age as my Dad"? "You two should meet I think you will have a lot in common"

That might work ...

Another vote for an HR visit. I’ve done this myself recently and HR are looking at our work sexual harassment policy/training as a result.

I too read the list in shock.
I'd send an email personally, listing off the things hes done. Then say it stops now or you go to hr.
Then use body language to keep him away. Pissed off pout, refusing to look at him, getting away as quickly as possible.
Makes me cross. I went thro this as a young woman. CEO even touched my breast at the bar, quick sharp, during a night out after work. I'd bloody handle that shit differently now.

Asomething2say

I had a Director of firm I worked for tap me on my bum so I stamped on his foot ... he never did it again. He then kept complaining to other Directors that I was stuck up and he didn't want me covering for his PA when she was on annual leave .... suited me fine I didn't want to work for the dirty old sod!

This absolutely is a matter for HR. You are in a better position than some people because you have clear concrete examples to demonstrate his harassment of you. I like the advice of a PP to send the list of issues directly to HR stating that you want a meeting, that way you both have a full written record of events.

Please do not worry about creating 'an awkward environment at work'. It already is awkward because he's making it awkward for you.

I'm a HR professional and I would 100% call this sexual harrassment.

Tell him his behaviour ( asking for selfies, over complimenting, etc) make you feel uncomfortable and block him.

Most of the SH cases I've dealt with are less obvious than this.

Feel free to PM me if you need advice from a HR perspective.

Go to HR print off the texts and bring all the proof.

Mileysmiley

Wow!! See how he painted you black?? All to cover for himself!!

In these stories coming out, we are seeing the behaviour of the perps for what it is. Arse covering and twist & blame.

This sounds like the plot to Law&Order SVU!

Definitely tell HR, and let them deal with it. No reason why you should have to spell out to him that harassment in the workplace is a disciplinary issue - that's HRs job.
Just to be clear, he is a creep, and is relying on you not to make a fuss. How grim to think he is getting off on this.And thinking he can actually touch yo u.
I've complained about this before, and would do again. Guys like this need to be told the official line on inappropriate behaviour in the workplace.

I think you need to tell him to back off and that he's making you feel uncomfortable and don't be responding to texts - block him. I'd do that before going to HR unless you really find it impossible to communicate directly.

What a creep, little miss cutie, just no.

I used to have a boss that referred to me as DA for damned attractive and he even gave me a birthday card addressing me as that. They're everywhere!

I would just call him out on it op, touching your necklace, wtf.

Just be more assertive. ‘Please stop texting me.’ ‘Don’t touch me.’ ‘You are standing too close.’ ‘Why are you staring at my legs?’