Why is life so fucking unfair

[ArianaN19]

Just looking for some support and just to have a rant somewhere.
Found out today my soon to be ex husband has a new girlfriend and I’m crushed. It’s his first girlfriend since the split 6 months ago and to make matters worse he knew her when we were together which makes me question has he always liked her? The split was amicable we were both unhappy and deep down I know he’s not right for me but I can’t let go of all the things I loved about him, it clouds my judgement all the time, I’d have happily tried to work things out but he didn’t want to, I stood by him through his drug addiction, he did nothing round the house, short tempered and was out with his mates all the time so these are all reasons why I should be jumping up and down in glee that he’s out of my life but I can’t stop thinking about all the happy memories and how amazing we could be together. I just don’t want to feel anything anymore, I’m sick of feeling like I’m not good enough or that I’m not worthy of him. Why does he get to walk away and build a new life while I’m here looking after his kids, he gets to be Disney dad one night a week and I have all the daily responsibilities with barely any free time.

Sorry this is probably completely all over the place and won’t make sense but I’m just so upset and angry how my life has turned out.

I really felt like my and him were forever, he would tell me all the time how much he loved me and how I was his forever. How do I get over this. I thought no matter what happened we would always work through things. I must sound so pathetic.

Hey there, it's ok to be angry and upset. Life is shit sometimes, however you will get past this and you will also have your time and will find someone who is better on every level. You will gain strength as time goes on and wonder why you wasted your time worry about him so much.
You have value and lots to give. you will see that soon, even if you dont believe it now.

It's ok to mourn the life you thought you were going to have.

I'd personally pity the girlfriend as you know exactly what her future will look like - your past.

You just need to find a new "better". Onwards and upwards

It's still very recent. I promise you, 100%, you won't feel like this a year, or even six months from now.
What you need is space and time to nurse your wounds and reflect. No one can give that to you unfortunately but you will get there.

The worst is over and I know how much you are hurting right now, but you separated for a reason, his new gf will have the same shit to put up with that you did. Stay off Social Media, stay well away from anything to do with them, and plan all those things on your bucket list, and start doing them.
The hurt and anger will go over time. I have got the T shirt.

My little love you will need to build yourself up - lots of self love - do not let the bad men into your life - you deserve a great life.

Been there done that. But the good news is that I’ve gradually thought about him less and less and started to feel happier by going out walking to lose weight, getting my hair cut and listening to my favourite music. Not expensive stuff as I have no money but it helped me. You don’t want him you want a better version of him. The good version you deserve. But the truth is that you deserve better than him. Do things that make you happy and don’t live in the past where it’s easy to forget the full horror of all the times he let you down and just remember the good bits. Time is a great healer so they say. It will get better.

I had exactly the same words go through my head earlier today and it's uncanny what similar situations we are both in. However, whilst I had these pangs and thoughts go through my mind I also echoed exactly what other people have posted here. Deep down I know this new girlfriend will be getting the good side of him in these early days as I once did but ultimately he will be acting with her how he did with me. The same will be for you most likely. We are the lucky ones Ariana as we have the solid love of our beautiful children. The fact you were willing to work through it but he preferred to jump ship coupled with how much you both put into your lives together speaks volumes about respect, ability to resolve etc. He won't have changed with this new person but you will have the qualities which you can take moving forward to a new relationship.

I’m sick of feeling like I’m not good enough or that I’m not worthy of him

Well in as nice a way as possible you need to knock that kind of stuff on the head!

You were both unhappy, you had the sense to end it, and you’re plenty good enough for any man who’s lucky enough to be with you.

You’re worth more than a man who does nothing around the house. You deserve a proper partner who treats you, your shared home and shared life with respect and kindness and makes you feel cherished and adored.

Thank you everyone, I do know that he’s not the right person for me I’m just finding it extremely difficult to untangle myself from him. He still feels like home if that makes sense? So to know he’s now with someone else and WANTS someone else is so hard to accept. I’ve been so strong and I’ve not spoken to him about anything other than the kids but then we slept together in June which was a big mistake, I thought it was the start of us finding our way back to each other but obviously not. Since then it’s sent me back 10 steps and I feel like I’ve been trying to get over it all over again and now this. It’s not that I feel I’m not worthy of love it’s more.... why wasn’t I enough to fight for, he made me feel like it was me and him to the end. Wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

“Deep down I know he’s not right for me”

You said it yourself.
Your mind is playing tricks on you making you reminisce about the good times but the reality is you know he’s not right for you.

Sorry OP. It’s a tough thing to go through. But get through it you will.

You will get over this, I promise.
My ex eventually married a girl we'd both been friends with for years. She had an accident when we were together and we'd even visited her in hospital (when I was pregnant) so I was totally crushed when they got together.
But after time, I realised that we'd never have worked out anyway and that I was actually missing the routine we'd had more than anything.
Moving on is the very final thing, so you need to ask yourself if you'd found someone first, would you expect him to feel bad about it.
I'm assuming the answer would be no.
Now is your time to start living, without him. If that's with someone else or on your own, then you can make the best of things and build a life for yourself but trust me, you'll soon be glad he's found someone else and you don't have to deal with his drama anymore x

God that must have been so difficult. I just can’t get over it, I feel worthless today. I feel like I’ll never feel anything for anyone ever again I feel like I’m dead inside x