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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Being tracked?

20 replies

Tiredoptimist · 10/08/2019 20:43

Paranoid, jealous husband whom I'm separating from. I'm not sure if it's rubbing off on me but he seems to know where I've been.

I have an iPhone 6 and a car. Is there any foolproof way of finding tracking software/devices?

Thanks x

OP posts:
Parent999 · 10/08/2019 21:04

Change your appleID password.
The go to settings and turn of location services. It will have a list off apps that use gps and when.

If you watch the old spy movies there is something called a barium meal. Send your phone with someone else to a strip club and you go somewhere else. The misinformation should show if he’s up to no good.
I’d love to be a spy.
But tracking the car? He’d have to hide a device like an old iPhone in it and track that.

Do you think he just knows you and your habits really well?

Wishihad · 10/08/2019 21:08

My exh did this.

Way before u lived out he synced my samsung phone to a laptop we had.

I had no clue. After I moved out he kept mentioning he had seen me places.

I got a new phone and changed my google account etc.

Spingtrolls · 10/08/2019 21:13

Yea check your app setting - snapchat and WhatsApp for example can show location.
Turn off phone location. Change passwords for everything. Or better if you can create new accounts.
Does the car have any satnav? Would also look at changing all that.
Also Facebook - checkin and what you share.

Tiredoptimist · 10/08/2019 21:23

Thanks. Have changed all passwords and location is disabled.

I understand that you can buy small matchbox size trackers for cars but would have no idea where they could go or how to find one!

I never thought I'd find myself having to ask this!

OP posts:
Parent999 · 10/08/2019 21:30

That’s some serious effort on his part if it’s true. A friendly garage would be able to check as whatever he put may have put in there would need a power source. Depending on how new and technical the car is it’s likely to be placed near the battery. The easiest option by far is to hijack your phone with “find IPhone” or a dodgy third party app.

Parent999 · 10/08/2019 21:31

Do you have joint account? He could reading bank statements.

Tiredoptimist · 10/08/2019 22:04

Thanks. Car is 2006 so not new. No joint account and I've changed password on that and don't have paper statements.
It is serious effort but he has followed all my followers on twitter under false accounts and tried to engage me on there and is making curious comments about knowing my secrets etc. Wish I knew them!!!!

Swears he will not be following me but also said he wouldn't stalk me on social media and has done constantly so can't really believe him.

Wouldn't even be surprised if he popped up on here!

OP posts:
Mummacake · 10/08/2019 22:18

My ex did all of these things to me & I couldn't understand how he knew where I'd been etc. There was a tracker on my car, he got people to tell him where I'd been under the guise of being 'worried'. He currently has been found to be covertly recording his current partner in her own home, trackers on her car, monitoring her phone & putting an old phone in the child's buggy so that there's a double check on where she is & has a 'friend' to tell him where she's going & where she's been - this woman is supposed to be her friend!! She still doesn't think she's in an abusive relationship..........Hmm

Sicario · 10/08/2019 22:21

You know this is stalking, right? And it can escalate. Report him to the police.

Tiredoptimist · 10/08/2019 22:37

Trouble is I have no proof. If I could find a tracker then of course.

OP posts:
YetAnotherUser · 10/08/2019 22:42

Factory reset your phone, make sure location sharing on things like Google maps etc is turned off.

JK1773 · 10/08/2019 22:44

My ex did this too and I’ve no idea how. It’s very creepy sinister behaviour. Get far away from him as soon as you can. Change your devices if possible. Mine had something on my phone and laptop so he could see what I was looking at or typing. He came across my posts on MN. He went beserk. He tried to convince me he’d come across it by chance. It gave him the opportunity to read other posters opinions of him if nothing else but it was frightening at the time

Mumsymumphy · 10/08/2019 22:51

If he had your Apple ID and password he could have logged in to Find My iPhone, if you take your phone in the car. There are tracking apps that can 'hide' in your phone, you won't know they are there, but he will have had to have access to your phone at some point to install it on there.

cushioncovers · 10/08/2019 23:47

Check you haven't got the find friends app downloaded on your phone. You can track people on that.

Wishihad · 10/08/2019 23:56

OP, exh also stalked me along with Jo's new girlfriend.

He moved in with her within 12 weeks of apparantly meeting her. I dont think he was seeing her when we were together. But he started seeing the week the house was sold, apparantly, and loved in 12 weeks later.

She helped him stalk me giving him access to her accounts. Problem was that occasionally a very old post would be liked. I still dont know if it was him or her and if it was by accident or on purpose so I knew.

He even followed me in his new business name. I could spot it was hom a mile off.

I also gave my vintage car to my dad and purchase a new cheapish run around. Just incase it had something on it.

The only reason he stopped is because I met and started seeing dp. He is 6 ft 4in and works in security and is huge. Dp is actually far more laid back and kind than exh, just looks like he stole grumpy cats expression most of the time. Grin

Exh is terrified of him. It's awful, but that's the only thing that stopped him.

I hardly use social media anymore. And definitely dont check in anywhere. I am convinced that some of my facebook friends update him. But no clue who.

Parent999 · 11/08/2019 06:53

the laptop would be easiest to monitor. Time for a new laptop, car and a phone reset. I’d turn it all off and leave social media alone for a while.
Go back to an old Nokia brick phone for a while, your friends will think it’s cool and retro

Mileysmiley · 11/08/2019 06:56

He could have a tracker on your car ask the garage to check it out.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 11/08/2019 07:27

Block him on all social media including Snapchat. I didn't realise but you can see where friends are on the app.

You could speak to a friendly mechanic, explain the situation and pay him an hours labour to check your car for you?

My ex did this and it was awful, it took me moving over 300 miles away, thank god it happened when technology was limited. I'd hate to think what he'd be like now

ThirdThoughts · 11/08/2019 08:50

You don't need solid proof that he is managing to track you to speak to the police. Just explain to them what you know for sure (the harassing on social media, the insinuations that he's checking up on you) and ask their advice.

The police should take obsessive stalking, threatening behaviour seriously for your safety. Don't wait until it gets more worrisome to alert them.

RandomMess · 11/08/2019 09:39

Presumably they is a "key logger" App that he could have installed on your phone so even if you change passwords he will know what they are. You can certainly do their on laptops, PCs etc and no doubts phones too.

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