Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Thinking of someone else vs feelings

3 replies

DaisyD22 · 10/08/2019 14:11

As a side thread to my main one, I am just thinking, if 'thinking' about someone else while in relationship is ever acceptable, normal, understandable.
Or is it always the sign of some feelings to this person? I have read, a number of times amd in various sources, that fancying other people, or even fantasising about them is totally healthy and normal, especially if someone is with his SO for long, it only becomes an issue if people act on it.
And apparently women fantasise about other men than their husbands or DPs more often then men!

I mentioned, in my other thread, that I was in touch with an ex while splitting with the DP for the 1st time. Always thought it was just an ego boost, looking for reasurrance, boredom and so on and I still loved DP, not this man. But now I've realised that there must be a reason why I was coming back in touch with this particular ex and not any other. I do still think of him sometimes and always in a positive way. I am tempted sometimes to text him but never do it as it is pointless. This man has never let me down, first big love, first decent sex and I have only happy memories about him. We could not ever work out as a couple as we were very young when dating and then he moved overseas. But I do think fondly of him, even now. Does it mean I have some sort of feelings still or is it just good memories?
Is it different for men than women?

I guess I am trying to figure out if my current DP has any feelings for this woman he was texting. Is it only sex or boredom, or is there a chance there must be some feelings involved, if he still is or was in touch after over 2 years.
I think I could forgive sexual stuff but not feelings, it is something hard to fight against.
Is there a chance he is idealising her as they were not together for long?

Asking him is pointless, he won't tell precisely what he feels. Your thoughts?

OP posts:
DaisyD22 · 10/08/2019 14:14

I will appreciate your thoughts, I am a private person and find it so much easier to write about my issues and doubts than talking to anyone. I now I should do counselling but just not ready for it yet.

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 10/08/2019 16:58

I'm not sure what you're askin TBH

"Is love the same as sex" no obvs not
"Does fancying sex with someone other than my partner mean I don't love him" no obvs not

ChristmasFluff · 10/08/2019 19:52

I'm so sorry, OP, I remember your previous thread. He'd be shagging her if she hadn't shut him down.

In this situation, you are just prolonging the agony, because one day he will proposition someone who doesn't shut him down.

He is so vile, please end it xx Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread