Heartbroken can't walk away, little support

[maximoo87]

Hi all,

Bit of background. My partner and I have been together almost 5 years, we rented for 2.5 of those years and last July moved back in with parents to save for a mortgage deposit. He had left before saying he doesn't feel the same anymore but we worked it out he has left after an argument aswell saying it's never going to work. Things have been shitty the past few months with a few disagreements not about anything serious but yesterday was hell. He works away mon -fri I stay with my parents during that time then we stay with his mum on weekend. I came round upset and he basically told me he no longer feels he can commit to getting a mortgage, doesn't see me having kids with him and doesn't look forward to coming home to see me on the weekend and when I ring him during week he is checking time on his phone wanting to go. Wonders if there is something wrong with him. I'm absolutely heartbroken, I cried for hours with him stupidly ended up staying round as it was late and I couldn't face going home and explaining to parents. After a while we were talking like normal, he said when I'm here he feels like things are fine and his head is all over. I worship the ground this man walks on I would give him my very last and all I want is to get this house and have a family. He says it not fair on me to do this again and I deserve better. I know I really do but I just love him so much and can't imagine my life without him. I have no friends at all, I'm only 25 and before I met him I was A party girl our every weekend I grew apart from them friends as they still go out partying and I'm not about that life anymore. My best friend moved away so I really have no one. I feel pathetic and weak I'm still at his house now we were going to go out and do something today. I wish I was brave enough to walk away but I feel like my futures been crushed and I don't want to start all over again. I'm 25 and I don't earn enough to have a place of my own but feel embarrassed to live with my parents still. I'm a quiet person and do find it difficult to make friends I don't really have any hobbies. I feel like no man is ever going to love me because they'll think it's weird I have no friends (often something my partner brought up) I do have acquaintances but no one I could go round and have a chat with/go out shopping with etc. Really sorry for the long post if anytime stuck around to read this far I appreciate it. I'm a complete mess and just would like some advice from people in same position. Thanks

I don't have any hope for the future I'm completely lost. I love the bones off him and would do absolutely anything to make this work but I can't change him. I think he's always had commitment issues.

it doesnt sound he wants to be with you anymore.
you are still very young.
i would go back to my parents, there is nothing wrong with that.
you need to work on your self esteem. you will meet many new people.

This is shit. You feel shit. But it isn't nearly as shit as wasting the next 20 years on a man who isn't that into you.

Go back to your parents. Grieve the relationship. Try not to contact him and don't respond if he contacts you.

Then put a plan in place to rebuild your life. Start a hobby. Contact old friends - they may be happy to hear from you. Throw yourself into a career.

Then, when you no longer want him, start to think about dating. But not before. You are young, you will find someone else.

You're young, have no children together and no financial committments to complicate matters further. Walk away now and find someone worthy of you.

Love you are 25. You have a whole amazing future ahead of you.

It’s not healthy to be so dependent on someone. I would move back to your parents and look for some hobbies or interests that will help build your social circle.

Your hurt and in pain. It's horrible but it won't last for ever. Take it ODAAT, get support from your parents. There is some one out there for you it's not him.

Thank you all for taking the time to read my post and for your kind words/support it means a lot. Right now I can't see me being able to get over this and feeling this way about someone else. Just really wanted to have my life sorted and be settled at this age and be starting a family soon, not starting all over again, but things obviously don't always work out to plan.

Lovely you're not starting all over again-I would consider that to be you've had a marriage,kids and divorce and are then having to start all over again-I would try and see it as a lucky escape and thank your lucky stars you are not married or have any children with the wrong man. You are young enough to get your life back on track - learn to love you and then hopefully in time the right person will come along.
At your age I thought I had my life all planned out, I had my career,my husband and my children, my husband then left me out of the blue a few years later and I saw myself divorced by age 30. I then tried starting over again but picked an EA arsehole and now at 10 years your senior I am living back with my parents and trying to rebuild my life. I have a handful of friends (both Male and female) of a similar age who have had to live back with their parents - there is no shame in that at all!