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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Losing hope for life after divorce - give me some positive stories

7 replies

Feelinghopeless999 · 10/08/2019 09:41

I am currently very close to calling it a day with DH after many years of disconnection and misery. I’m not unhappy with our life (great kids, great house, enough money, etc) but our actual relationship has been dead in the water for years.

I have spent some time on mumsnet recently looking at others stories, researching stuff on divorce, etc. But all I feel is despair! I feel like maybe he’s not so bad compared to all the lying cheating NP men there seem to be out there! Or am I destined to be alone forever? (In some ways that sounds kind of great!) Or am I destined to become utterly jaded by OLD which sounds horrendous!!

Just to be clear, at this point dating or ever living with another man is the furthest thing from my mind. But at the same time how miserable it ‘seems’ to be on the other side of the divorce fence is not making me want to leave the easy and comfortable life I have here (even if my relationship is miserable).

I need you positive post-divorce or post LTR stories please!! Please give me the hope I need to make a confident decision about the future! Thanks MNetters! Star

OP posts:
Piratelostatsea · 10/08/2019 09:44

I'm not divorced yet but I felt the same way you did before I called it a day. It gets so much easier as time passes, and you'll soon look back at this time and realise you had nothing to worry about. Being on your own is so much better than staying in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.

Focus on yourself, you'll be fine. 🙂

crappyday2018 · 10/08/2019 09:52

Its a very scary thought being on your own after years with someone. Fear of the unknown is often stronger than hope of a happier life.
I was with ex for 17 years and our relationship had been over for years. I just got to a point where I simply could not bear to live with him anymore (he had some family stresses). When he moved out I went through a very dark time for a few months. My head was all over the place and I was scared of how I would cope with the kids on my own, how would I cope financially, where would I live when I sold the house.... a million things. But, mainly I was scared of being lonely.
Its been over 2 years now and I can honestly say I've never been happier. I'm about to buy my own house for me and the kids and I cherish the time on my own, rather than worrying about being lonely.
All I can say is, life is short to settle for a relationship that makes you sad. Its not going to get any better is it.

Feelinghopeless999 · 10/08/2019 12:25

Thanks for your responses, it really is a scary prospect. I am such a planner/future focused type personally that it’s hard not to get locked in ruminating about all the bad (and good I suppose) possibilities the future could hold then getting terrified and just think it’s not “that” bad I should just stay put...but that is a depressing thought!!

OP posts:
ElizabethinherGermanGarden · 10/08/2019 12:48

I separated from my husband (he cheated, plus other bits around infertility) in 2013. I spent a year recuperating and rebuilding (lived with parents, continued to work, saw friends, bought and renovated a new house, which now I come to think of it, was a huge amount for that year!). During that year, I was desperately unhappy, which I dealt with by reading the complete works of Georgette Heyer and re-watching all 15 series of ER.

Then I moved into my new house and, once I'd got over the rage that no one ever put the bins out for me, discovered that I loved living on my own and making all my own choices. I pottered for a year and rebuilt my confidence, then started online dating once I felt better, which was a good 2 years after the original break up.

My experiences of online dating were really positive. I found that all my friends were agog for funny stories, most of the men I met were normal decent blokes - I kept thinking that it was like going to the pub with a pleasant new colleague rather than anything more high stakes. Then, after a 4-date weekend, I met DP - he was date 4 of 4 in 3 days.

We had a couple of years of being on and off (he's a widower and struggled initially to deal with being in a new relationship and opening up) but have been together solidly for 2 years so if we gloss over the dodgy bit (which I do) we have just had a 4 year anniversary. The thing I like about the relationship is that as we are older and don't need to worry about buying houses, getting married, having kids, etc, we can just pootle along at our own pace.

Life's good. Being single in your own place is great. Meeting nice new people is great. New relationships, once you're ready, are great.

I like the quote from Josephine Hart's 'Damage' that says 'damaged people are dangerous: they know what they can survive'. I don't consider myself either damaged or dangerous, but I really like knowing what I can survive and come back from. I feel like my strength has been tested and proved itself to be sufficient. I'm quite proud of everything I've achieved in the last six years. I know that I'm different now, but all my core values and personality traits have held true.

I think it's useful to have a timeline - here's mine:

Year 1 - protect yourself and deal with what you can, a bit at a time; let your friends rally round

Year 2 - find your feet; discover what you enjoy about being single; deal with a bit more and start to feel pretty much better

Year 3 - test yourself - the grief of the break up does bubble up with new relationships etc, so deal with that when you need to; finish sorting out all the practicalities (actually get divorced, assuming you go for the two-year separation version) and change your name (absolute ball-ache, make sure you keep your marriage certificate because you will need it for everything)

Year 4 - normal life onwards

Wishing you good luck, strength and calmness. It will get much better.

ChristmasFluff · 10/08/2019 19:56

I divorced a good man

He is remarried, I am single, and probably always will be (happy about that). My life is so much batter than it would have been married, and his is so much better than it would have been still married to me. Our son loves having 2 families.

Good luck, OP xx

Feelinghopeless999 · 11/08/2019 22:00

Bump

Thanks for the replies, you are giving me some hope! If you don’t mind me asking how did the kids deal with the divorce/recovery? I have a 4yo and (nearly)7yo, I dread how they will react but at the same time I think it would be better to do it now rather than when they get any older? Confused I feel so selfish but then rationally I can maybe see that a happy mother makes for happy kids...

OP posts:
Misty9 · 11/08/2019 22:30

I separated from exh 5 months ago and my kids are similar ages to yours OP (we share care 50/50). There was no trigger, just a dead marriage which was increasingly hard to stay in. The kids have adjusted really well - better than me I sometimes think! It was a rocky few months for us all, especially as I chose to be the one who moved out which has definitely been the most disruptive and stressful part. But I'm looking forward to buying my own place next year and never letting anyone else's name on the deeds and having a fresh start. Yes the loneliness can be breathtakingly painful at times - but being in the marriage was also lonely and sad. I'm in no hurry to find anyone else and actually increasingly the idea of being alone bothers me less.

So my advice? If you're sure it's not salvageable then leave and don't look back Flowers

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