Tell me how you imagine your relationship with adult DCs

[quirkycutekitch]

I want mine to grab life with both hands! To go travelling but always come back to me and tell me about their adventures! I want them to live close enough that we can see each other easily but not live in each other’s pockets & for them to come for Sunday dinner with their partners and children (not every week maybe once a month or every 6 weeks) & Christmas because they want to & enjoy it & not because they feel obliged.

My children are adults now. I just always hoped they'd be happy and healthy and they are. We still share a house (I don't see it as my house, it's our house) and are very close.

I remember my exMIL saying what a disappointment her DC were as she'd always imagined they'd live close to her, go for Sunday lunch at her house regularly (she even bought a new dining table to accommodate everyone which was never used) have big family holidays etc. None of the above happened and she felt let down by them. She couldn't see that her misery ( She became very bitter) was self inflicted. Expectation lead to disappointment in her case.

When my children were growing up I never really imagined anything beyond hoping they'd be happy and healthy. No disappointment on my part. Obviously my exMIL may have played a part in my attitude.

Hopefully nothing like my relationship with my mother.

My in laws though have been very supportive with no pressure. So of course, everyone is happy to go over and spend the time with them.

I hope they have the confidence to go for their dreams even if they don’t match mine. My eldest works extremely long hoursin a very niche profession in a city hours away from me...we love each other very much but don’t have the nearness geographically I wish for. Their happiness is paramount. I selfishly hope one of mine will stay near.