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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Breaking the cycle of abuse.

0 replies

MustStop · 09/08/2019 14:20

Regular poster nc and some details are changed.

I've been in an abusive relationship for a long time, four dc aged 16 +.
I need to leave my dh, I love him but can't go on.
I have supported him for years as he comes from a terribly abusive background.
I'm guilty because it means that nobody will be there for him and I'm not sure he'll hold it together and not attempt suicide.

We have both recently had individual counselling, not for marriage reasons, we didn't discuss it when we both spoke to each other about it.

Now is a particular bad time for him as he's about to have it out with family members, and so he should.
I have nothing left to support him through this, and with a major family occasion coming up, don't want to wait until after this.

He didn't get closure from his abuser, no apology, but doesn't realise his own children feel exactly like he did as a child/ young person.
They will tell him the truth I hope so it can stop at this generation.
But he'll take it badly, I know he will.

I have no idea what to do, where to go, haven't got a job but will have enough for something when we sell this place.
Until then after finding a job I suppose I will need to rent somewhere.

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