How to act/respond/ignore

[dragonflyflew]

I have already started a post about bf and some stuff I’m going through but I’m starting a new one as now have a different issue and possibly petty. I’m going through some stuff atm,saw gp today as my heads not right and he said I’m dealing with shock regarding an incident unrelated to my relationship issue.
Anyway, bf is away, has been since yesterday and has just casually dropped into the conversation that part of the group he’s away with includes an ex girlfriend. I know these things happen but he’d not mentioned before that she was going to be part of group and I’d guarantee he knew and chose not to tell me prior to going. Probably felt a bit guilty so just included her name when I queried why he was just sending me weird pics of randoms who were clearly not with him.
He’d previously told me she’s a big part of his life and then tonight he’s all ‘everything’s cool there’s no awkwardness between us ‘ which surprised me as he’s previously said what a good friend she is.
I’m dealing with panic symptoms atm and I feel very vulnerable and down and don’t know how to respond or whether it’s worth any response. I’m definitely in fight or fight mode right now. He’s in party mode so me saying anything is not going to be conducive to anything.
Just venting again I guess but I don’t know what else to do with it

Ignore. With him away and him in party mode, there's nothing you can do which will make you feel better so better to do nothing which will, at least, not make matters any worse. Think about what, if anything, you want to say when he gets back.

Either ignore, or send a cheery ‘Have a great time!’.

Thank you both. I have no idea what to say or why I’m so cross. Presumably because he’s likely to have known she’s going to be there. We had a fall out over similar when we were very early days and he was going away with a group of friends and forgot to mention that a very recent ex was going with him. I only found out by overhearing a conversation which mentioned she was going too. In the end the event fell through so I never had to deal with it.

At the time I asked him not to withhold stuff like that from me again and he said he wouldn’t. Clearly he has and I’m feeling a bit sad and let down. I’m sure I’d feel like this even if I wasn’t dealing with a current trauma... I feel so shit now. Am I being stupid?

Ha. Funny after I posted this he called me, obviously sensed my ‘tone’ so I asked him and he said he didn’t know she was going to be there. Apparently he’d asked her a couple of months ago if she was coming and she wasn’t sure. He knew her friends were going tho.
I don’t mind about him hanging with the ex and their friends it’s just the idea of him knowing beforehand and keeping it from me.

Were you invited OP? Is there a reason why not if you were not, especially if it’s a large group with mixed genders away together.

I was invited but I couldn’t have gone as working/parenting so I don’t think there’s anything underhand, just my overactive imagination at the moment. He goes annually and usually takes whatever partner he has at the time, last year it was her!