He's leaving his partner for me

[expectingcellulite]

And I don't know how to feel.

We've been friends for six years. He's been with his girlfriend for about eighteen months. He recently confessed that he had feelings for me and I admitted that if he was single then I would be interested in him.

But now he's leaving his girlfriend and I just feel HORRIBLE. Nothing has happened between us physically but I just feel like I've done something wrong and like, if this were to go somewhere with us, that the start of our relationship is going to be tarnished somehow.

I really do like him, but someone else getting hurt in the process makes the whole thing just seem wrong and I don't know what to do or how to deal with this

He can end his relationship for any reason he likes. It doesn’t mean there’s any pressure on you to do or change anything.

He’s doing the decent thing in finishing with her before starting a physical relationship with you.

She's better off without him if he’s not 100 percent committed. There’s someone out there who will be.

I would suggest that he has a bit of a break. 6 months or so. Just to make sure he’s with you because he really wants to be with you.

He’s doing the right thing, the honourable thing if he has feelings for you, but don’t feel pressured into reciprocating unless you are ready. The end of his relationship is one thing, a new relationship with you is a different thing altogether.

Actually he's doing the right thing, he's acknowledging that he has feelings for someone else (you) and is ending his current relationship rather than trying to test the water with you and cheating on her.

He's doing the right thing, breaking it off with someone he's not that into. You're under no obligation to get with him, but be aware that he'll probably expect you to and be pissed off if you don't (to be clear he shouldn't, but he probably will)

He’s doing the right thing op (echooooooooo). Life works out funny sometimes and your right it isn’t an ideal situation but you haven’t outwardly wrecked this home have you? He’s ending it before getting romantically involved. He was already emotionally involved before this girl it seems anyway. It’s not a great situation and I get it but at least your not the OW.

If he's not married and there are no dc, it's not a huge problem. It just means his feelings have changed and it's best he gets out now, rather than dragging it out.

Look at it another way. He isn't leaving her for you, he's leaving her for himself, to enable him to go after his desires. That's his stuff, not yours.

My DH left his girlfriend of nearly 3 years for me. We hadn’t been completely innocent, shamefully (though didn’t actually have sex), but I was merely 21 and he 23.

It was a long drawn out break up and I wished I hadn’t got so involved so quickly, especially as we lasted just six months. He needed to be on his own for a while.

We got back together nearly 3 years later.

Maybe ask him to take some time before jumping straight in.

Maybe just wait for a while before starting anything.

That gives them time to deal with the relationship ending, relationships rarely end with "I want to break up", there's normally some amount of backwards and forwards, letting go of the relationship, trying to get closure etc. even for the one who wants to end it.

It will also give him a bit of time to see what he wants, does he really want to jump straight into something? It might seem preferable now to move onto someone straight away who he is into, but maybe a few weeks of the single life will show him he wants to be single for a while.

I don't think it would be necessary to wait 6 months as advised earlier if the break up is clean and he seems to have adjusted well though.

No DC and he isn't married.

I think you're all right. He's barely ever been single which perhaps is also a bit of a warning sign. I will ensure that he has some time alone first.

You have no reason to feel guilty and you are under no obligation to do anything.

Ask him to stay single for 6 months or so to let the dust settle before even considering anything (if you still like him then).

He may have wanted out of that relationship before and he waited until there was a new relationship to go to before bailing. My own brother did this, set up a new relationship and had all those ducks in a row before dumping his partner of 14 years, seemingly out of the blue. Within weeks, he'd married the new woman. At the time I couldn't believe it was happening but since then I've heard people say that men don't like leaving relationships and having to deal with being single so they will normally make sure they have a new relationship to go to. Not saying he doesn't love you, at all, but I could believe that he wouldn't leave his old relationship until he had a new one.