Hi, sorry, just need a place to vent, can't really speak to anyone and I wouldn't want to worry my mum as she lives far away.
Partner and I have 3 year old twin girls I also have a DS from previous relationship, who's 13. Needless to say, as soon as the girls came , all attention from DP and grandparents were directed at them and DS doesn't get a look in though he's frequently gets told off by DP. Obv, we've had many arguments over this - if you don't give, don't be prepared to take kind of thing.
As for the girls, we are on different parenting boats, working against each other and not as a team. They do wear me down (I also work pretty much full time, plus do housework and cook etc) and lack of time means lack of attention which means tantrums.
MIL often comments how soft I am on them, that they only play up for mummy and the latest one - pasta is lazy people's food. I know this is quite irrelevant but we all love pasta and when you work all day and then you come home to cook because DP was too busy leaving early for the gym before work so couldn't cook or tidy, pasta is a good solution. Basically, I just feel she constantly digs and digs away at me.
She's also very good at planting seeds in DP's head, I hear the same expressions from him and he's just not willing to pull his weight, I can count on one hand how many times he's taken the bins out.
FIL only seems to turn up when I'm at work, all he does is feeds the kids chocolate, I don't much care for him tbh.
Anyway, I just feel like I'm reading all the parenting books, trying different approaches (one of my DD is quite challenging) and all I get is being told that I'm doing it all wrong. I'm not even sure if our relationship is working any more, we barely talk, I nag a lot (otherwise get no help) and it's wearing us both down.
What shall I do? Ignore all comments or tell them all to stick their opinion and risked being even more of a black sheep in the family? I wish I had a crystal ball 8 years ago... :(