Husband works with one night stand

[PorcupinesAndPineTrees]

My husband has landed a new job in a shiny new office, great!! Except, for the fact that when I was 16 I had a ONS with this man who turned out to be a sleazy douchbag. I've regretted it ever since and tried to forget the whole thing. Fast forward 4 years and I meet my now husband. About a year into us dating, my cousin starts dating Sleazy Douche. I knew they would never last so I didn't bring it up. Probably a poor decision but I really feel awful about the whole thing. Plus, husband (boyfriend at the time) Really hates this guy.
Cousin and SD break up after dating roughly about a year and I think great!

Husband lands new job and I find out he'll be working with SD. I figure I better tell husband because SD will definitely tell him about me sleeping with him a decade ago and I'd hate for him to be blindsided.

How should I work it without it sounding like a big deal? I feel bad for not mentioning it when cousin was with SD

Jesus Christ some people on here are shits to their partners.

Did you miss the part where I also said

I know the sensible thing is to tell your husband and that's what you should do.

Or just ignore that bit. When people have chosen to not give up information they feel they should, most people would have a fleeting moment of 'shit....deny deny'.

Whilst also knowing it's the wrong thing to do. But I didnt recommend that she should do that.

OP, tell your husband. Tell him you didn't tell him about the one night stand a few years ago because it wasn't relevant and given that he already hates the guy, you didn't see a reason to upset him. Tell him the only reason you're telling him now, because it IS none of his business, is because you don't want him to be caught off guard by the douchebag.

Whatever you do, don't apologize because you've done nothing wrong. You don't owe him your sexual history. You are telling him because you love him and don't want him to be embarrassed or upset by this guy.

If your husband gets mad, that's his issue, not yours.

Just tell your husband the truth

There's no need to lie or twist the story. You slept with this bloke when you were 16, you don't tell your DH about people you slept with as a teenager, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. And there's nothing wrong with you having a ons with him either.

Just say "I thought your should know now as your working together but we slept together when I was 16. I haven't said anything before as it wasn't relevant and I was a bit embarrassed about it" any decent person will understand. He need a to be prepared if this bloke is a shit and might mention it.

I really couldn't give a shit who my DP slept with before me, and I highly doubt your DH will care either. But I think he should know so he knows how to respond in case this bloke brags about it or whatever

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3657170-Feeling-awful-and-annoyed

so is this the same guy you had a ONS with that your sister had dated or is this another one? 2 ONS working with DH??

I don't see the issue at all. I shagged many people before i got married. So did DH.

But honestly part of me just thinks I would deny it all. The guy isnt going to have proof is he?

But you then said that Wish doesn't mean it's what you'd do but it's a pretty shitty attitude to take with someone you love.

But you then said thatWishdoesn't mean it's what you'd do but it's a pretty shitty attitude to take with someone you love.

Totally missing the point that I told her not to do that and to tell.

I said not telling him wasnt right. If you have never been tempted to tell a lie, you are very unusual. Most of use have lied or adjusted the truth or at least been tempted to.

What's wrong with being tempted to do the wrong thing, but actually doing the right thing.

Besides which. OP didnt tell him. She didnt tell him this and alot of other stuff. Which doesnt really impact him, but I can imagine he feels like he doesnt know her at all.

Either they never discussed her teens (which is odd) or she lied about several things or have half truths.

So actually, op didnt tell him. And theres more she hasnt told him.

Being tempted to do the wrong thing and actually doing the wrong thing is 2 different things.

This really isn’t an issue!

You shagged someone when younger before you met your dh, well most of us did it’s hardy news.

I think it’s unlucky this other guy is even going to mention it, like why would he? You were 16 it’s the past what would he gain?

so is this the same guy you had a ONS with that your sister had dated or is this another one? 2 ONS working with DH??

So this guy shagged your sister, your cousin, and you, likes to keep it In the family then.

What is the truth, OP?

If this is the same man at DH’s new job that you wrote about 3 days ago, then your DH already knows that you had sex with him. It looks like you’ve just changed sister to cousin.