I'm in love with my boss, I've resigned, now what?

[NewStartNeeded123]

Name changed.

I've just left after my last day in the office. I was in my job for a year and resigned, in part, because I think I'm in love with my boss.

He was a great boss, took my work seriously, gave me plenty of his time. I don't really fancy him, I don't dream about kissing him, I just want to spend all of my time with him. He is funny and kind and really listened. We only ever talked about work and peripheral work stuff, so no emotional affair. I don't think he has any feelings for me.

I'm moving to a "better" job in another company so my leaving hasn't raised any eyebrows. He sent me a lovely email after I left saying what a pleasure it was to work with me and i'm sat here having a little cry because I can't really ever see him again.

We are both married, I have three young dc and a great lovely husband who would be devastated to know I had these feelings. And I never had any intention of acting on them - hence finding a new job.

But what now? How do I put this to bed and move on? I'd like to go back to my nice quiet straightforward life.

She can. But seems that they both fancy each other

Mileysmiley i absolutely agree, i have many male friends, I work in a male dominated industry, I've never had this problem before.

Dh and I got into bed last night and we were both on our phones, I put mine down and turned over to have a chat with him. It was really nice, I don't think he's the problem at all. I have some effort to put in to him.

I'm heartened by reading your situation.
There is chemistry. You didnt act on it.
This happens for all people but just because theres a cliff edge doesn't mean you have to jump.
And you recognize that boss wouldn't fit into your wider life.
And then you reconnected emotionally with husband last night.
It's hard I'm sure but this is heartening because you're doing it all right xxx

I think you can have male friends without and feelings of sexual attraction too.

My husband and I got together after a slow burning romance, I love him but I never felt an amazing spark or chemistry with him. I just appreciated him for being a really decent honest bloke. I think maybe the excitement was lacking. I didn't even believe in chemistry until I felt it. And I'm nothing special to look at so I didn't expect to stir up someone into a crush that way.
I think focussing on having more fun with your DH and not getting bogged down by endless mundane day to day life chores is partly the answer.

Had anyone else at work noticed this mutual attraction? People were starting to in my case.

So impressed at how maturely and thoughtfully you have behaved. I have had something a bit similar and the yearning does pass in time.

Nothing much to add to other wise words you've already had, but to add that I'm totally in awe of you. Fantastic self knowledge, and your total commitment to your family and marriage is just wonderful.